15 Guitar Hero Spin-offs That Should Happen

The Guitar Hero and Rock Band saga is quite an interesting one; bringing back the genre of rock music to the limelight and re-introducing the current audience to classic bands of the past and megapast. However, there really hasn’t been enough to milk the franchise as of now. We can do so much more to the musical grouping of games, you’d be surprised. Here are 15 spin-offs that should occur in the Guitar Hero franchise.


#15: Guitar Hero: Nintendo Edition

Nintendo has milked pretty much any sport and fad possible. We even have a Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix somewhere out there (Might be worth more than 5 dollars approximately 35 years from now). So, come on now, a Super Mario version of Guitar hero would be perfect. Imagine rocking out to the main theme of Mario Bros., jamming away to the sounds of Donkey Kong Country, and then creating an epic power ballad about the Legend of Zelda. Then to top it all off, we have a techno-industrial supermix to the tune of Metroid.

Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: Any F-Zero master recording will do.




#14: Guitar Hero: Dragonforce Edition

Now, I am sure that there are some of you that wish that certain people wouldn’t play Guitar Hero, ever. We are talking about the tykes that can’t sing, don’t rock out to their music in the least bit, or have the ability to miss every single possible note on easy mode. However, these are the more determined players. Enter the Dragonforce mode. Granted this band is like stabbing your ears with a rusty ice pick that was embedded in dry ice for approximately five years, they do have a semi-decent guitarist (He hits the notes, but has no idea why on earth they are hit). Well now, buy this for the person that you want quitting. He will quit after trying two of their songs on easy mode. In easy mode, your fingers cry for mercy. If you think “Through the Fire and Flames” is as bad and as frustrating as it gets, you are in for a surprise. Yes, it does get worse. Try Heroes of Our Time or My Spirit Will Go On for a change. You. Will. Die.

Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: Pretty much anything here.



#13: Guitar Villain

Hmmph, way too much rock but not enough hyperventilating death metal. Its time to raise the darkness and create a Guitar Villain installment. We are talking about the best in all metal, death, living, screaming, yawning, moaning, scratching, spitting, and setting things on fire. We are talking about the type of installment that when you turn on the game, the environment around you turns dark. Yea, that’s the one. I’m sure all the religious folks will get a kick out of this.

Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: Rammstein’s “Fruer Frei”


#12: Keyboard Hero

All right Rush fans, its time to represent! Not all bands rely on just the guitars and drums and all that stereotypical equipment; some bands have some exposure with keyboards. As a matter of fact, arguably (Why arguably, it IS) the best song of all-time has a heavy use of the keyboards, which is the lovely and epic Bohemian Rhapsody. Then we can dwell even farther into the past and play some Mozart and Beethoven. For a mere 75 bucks, you get a keyboard with 5 notes, and a game with music ranging from the 1600s to today. YEA!

Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: Franz Liszt’s Hungarian Rhapsody #2. Death will be stowed upon those who try to match him.



#11: Bass Hero.

This will basically be the entire franchise of Guitar Hero on easy mode. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! BURN!!!!

Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica (have fun with the intro.)



#10: Drum Hero

Personally, I find the best part of Rock Band to be the drumming. I loved drumming to Nirvana and some Weezer. Now, to focus all the aspects of playing music to the drums for one game. That could work, heck, it should work. Easily the most underrated portion in the music-building department, this should give the drummers a bit more respect and fame. After all, how many people have heard of Buddy Rich? I thought so.

Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: Buddy Rich’s Infamous Stick Trick Solo



#9: DJ Hero

For those not into the actual instrumentation of rock music, you can try scratching records constantly to create some funky sounds. Each game will come with its own turntable as you adjust music and improve them (or deprove them if you suck). This includes battles against Funkmaster Flex and DJ Lethal.



#8: Flute Hero

Oh snap son, for those that are better at blowing
into instruments, this will definitely be for you! Every game comes with its flute and the holes are color-coded, like the guitar notes. You can engage in epic flute battles against Ron Burgandy and Johann Joachim Quantz. So, brush up dem blowin’ skillz, and prepare for the ultimate battle for fluting supremacy!

Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: Through the Fire and Flames---Flute Mode. BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!



#7: Beatbox hero

To be honest, I have no idea why this is on the list. I have no idea how this can even be pulled off.

Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: Beatbox battle vs Robotic Justin Timberlake. Be prepared.



#6: Banjo Hero

There’s just something about the sweet sound of the banjo. For anyone that wants a more laid back installment using a guitar-like thing that has less notes and less complexability, we have the good ol’ banjo. Now we can play some throwback bluegrass classics, or finally take on the strange kid on a rendition of Dueling Banjos.

Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: Dueling Banjos. And you have no help you weakling prick.

Then you have to take on this guy:



#5: Violin Hero

For those that prefer fiddling with the strings rather than plucking them, have we got the game for you! All the strings are color-coded, so now you can play with up to four people and perform violin quartets or string versions of epic music (A strings version of Nookie is definitely in order here). Then, to totally make you question your reasons for living, you’ll engage in a good ol’ fashioned showdown against Nicolo Paganini. Heh.
.

Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: Caprice No.24 in A Minor. Good luck, I will pray for you tonight.



#4: Tuba Hero

This one is on the list because of the sheer potential to annoy the living bejesus out of you. There is no other reason, there is no way you can craft a successful game out of this premise. The sinisterly evil thoughts running through my head are plentiful. Imagine buying the package and having to lug the darn box into the car. Imagine having to set up the darn thing. Then imagine having to place the instrument over your shoulders, and then you having to play the notes correctly and be able to see what’s on the television screen. You’ll want to scream until the game (or you) blow up. By the way, the #4 slot is packaged in with Trombone Hero. Not as big, not as annoying, but you will still want to harm small animals by the time the song is done.

Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: November Rain by Guns n’ Roses, the Tuba Version. Not the radio edit either. Wow, I am cruel.


#3: Bongo Hero

This is a waste. Donkey Konga exists.



#2: Island Hero

How about we combine most of the instruments from previous entries on this list and create a Guitar Hero dedicated solely to ska and reggae. PRA! PRA! PRA!

Anywho, imagine this: bongos, guitars, drums, bass, vocals, trombones all thrown in together to create beautiful music (Unless you suck, and then you’ll create beautiful noise). Easy mode has all the reggae; hard mode has punk-rock-ska. PRA! PRA! PRA!

Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: Date Rape Song w/Super Extended Ending by Sublime




#1: Mariachi Hero

If you knew me and loved me enough, you’d know this would be #1. There is no other option; there is no other possible contender for the top position on this already-insanely-unserious list. I would buy this in a heartbeat if it ever happened. Picture this: horns, harps, trombones, drums, bongos (maybe?), heavy vocals, acoustic Spanish guitars, maracas, and of course, sombreros to go with all the instruments. Yes, all the songs will be in Spanish, except for the covers; which will include Stairway to Heaven Mariachi Mode, Smells Like Teen Spirit Mariachi Mode, Lollipop Mariachi Version, and of course, Stan Mariachi Version. For those of you twitching because of the suggestions, you are just in total denial. Mariachi Hero will reach epic sales that no other installment of Guitar Hero could possibly reach. It will catapult Activision into a new plateau of success. Esto es, Numero Uno!!!!!!!!!!


Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: Mariachi Battle vs. Mariachi Cobre.