Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Where Did All The Epic Music Go?


Remember back in the 70s and 80s, when a slew of epic bands would release epic songs that lasted beyond your normal radio-song running time and would include amazing guitar solos, amazing breakdowns, amazing assortments of notes, and a usually-grand finale? Whatever happened to our “Stairway to Heaven”s, “Free Bird”s, “Bohemian Rhapsody”s, “Master of Puppets”, “Working Man”s, “Hotel California”s, and “Run to the Hills”? Where are the epic bands and songs of today?



One thing sorely lacking in the music department nowadays is your typical assortment of fantastically long songs that drag (in loving fashion) as they skip from one rhythm to the next without any issues. Songs I personally (and everyone else should) consider epic include songs that are longer than 5 minutes (there are exceptions—but they better accomplish a lot in their shorter timeframe) and showcase the mastery and total range in terms of the guitars (with the guitar solos being the best way to do such a thing), the bass, the rhythms, other supporting instruments (synthesizers, cowbells, etc.) the lyrics, the chemistry amongst the elements, and the range of vocals from those involved. All this must mesh together to give the song a larger-than-life personality. And finally, they must stand the test of time, as they become played over the radio years/decades since its release and still sound awesome—and then receive a slew of inferior covers from inferior bands.

This previous decade however has very, very few guitar solos and songs we can consider “epic,” and most of them come from bands that formed back in the 80s. How can they pass the torch to the next big band if there has been no big band to continue the tradition? Surely there have been some bands that have given it a short, but the end result was dismally miserable. Apparently the closest thing to anything Queen-like (according to critics) was My Chemical Romance’s Welcome to the Black Parade----and that’s an audible disaster. Where are you next epic band? Where have you gone to? Is it that bands are afraid or too lazy to go the extra mile?



We have many bands that have the potential of cranking out that amazing masterful song that will stand the test of time. And some have the talent to pull it off more than once (like Led, Queen, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Pantera, etc.) Avenged Sevenfold has the instrumental technicalities down pat, all that’s left is better vocals and a tired-and-true attempt. Bat Country after all was among the best guitar solos of the last decade, as it resembles a mix of new-school with some Iron Maiden-like flavor. Rodrigo y Gabriela is the most skillful guitar duo out there, with Diablo Rojo being the best usage of guitar within the last 15 years. Yet, with insufficient percussion and no vocals, it’s going to be harder for them to pull off the next Free Bird. They are still awesome though.



Then there was System of a Down, which had the amazing Toxicity album back in 2001. They definitely have the cards that can create a full house of epic, but deal their hands much too quickly. Chop Suey for example, was amazing, but short. Same goes with Toxicity. With a shorter timeframe, it’s tougher to give the song a wider range and bring the crowd to its knees, demanding respect. Then, there’s always the questionable lyrics…what the heck are these song about anyway?



The last band to truly, truly, truly give it their all to stage epicness is Tool. Tool’s complicated sounds create some very innovative, unique, interesting, and sometimes-incredible music. Aenema, Schism, The Pot, Vicarious are superb songs that definitely do match up with most of the guidelines for becoming a truly epic song—except they still barely miss the mark. Tool’s innovative ways create some good music, but none of it can be imitated, none of it can actually age. Tool’s music hits its mark, creates ripples in the ocean of music, but that’s about it. One doesn’t really pull out a lighter (or a cell phone) when the song is being blasted somewhere, the replayability just isn’t quite there. It just isn’t epic. But so close. If there is a band that can create that one epic masterpiece, it would be Tool. Yes, “epic” is going to be used a lot in this measly article, deal with it.

As for everyone else out there, they’ve “advanced” beyond the guitar solo and focused purely on skill and coming up with a memorable riff/beat. Not a single metal or hard rock song nowadays contain a guitar solo that lasts beyond 35 seconds. Remember Metallica in the 80s and Master of Puppets, One, Am I Evil? Now THERE are some solos that you wished would never end. And unlike most of the feeble attempts in the last 15 years, there is heavy substance between the introduction and the guitar solos, and the ending.

There are three underratedly (not a word, stop spell-checking) important aspects to creating the perfect, epic song that will last forever: the introduction, the lyrics, and the grand finale. The introduction shouldn’t just start the song off quickly; you have to gradually let it build. Key examples: Stairway to Heaven, Bohemian Rhapsody, Master of Puppets, Cowboys From Hell, Run to the Hills, Free Bird (the best one of the bunch), I Ran (didn't see that one coming, right?) and even to an extent, Pearl Jam’s “Alive.” All of these songs didn’t start right off running; they were just a sneak preview of what was to come about. Master of Puppets did sound like it started fast, but when you hear the rest of the song; the introduction is extremely slow in comparison. Is there a single song within the past couple of years with a very memorable introduction that will instantly remind the listener just what he/she/it is listening to? Name one, go ahead. The last song with a truly grand opening to a grand song was: System of a Down’s Toxicity.

Lyrics are vital to an epic song, it is what gives the song its personality and gives the music the reason to sound like the way it does. Dragonforce is a grand example of excellent guitar work being marred by pathetic lyrics (and even more pathetic vocals, but that’s another story). You can’t sing about heartbreak and love every single time for crying out loud, can we please change it a bit? System of a Down was becoming a bit too political, which hampers any chance of epic. As for the other bands, let’s just say lyrics have not been their focus when making music. There has yet to be a band to attempt to match the lyrical bizarreness of Kurt Cobain.



Sometimes ambiguous lyrics enhance the aura of a song: Stairway to Heaven, Bohemian Rhapsody, In the Air Tonight (Yes, I went there), Hotel California are good examples. Then there are heavier lyrics that make the song itself heavier. Master of Puppets is about drugs and absolutely losing control, Cowboys From Hell is about a band coming into town and taking over, whether you like it or not. Run to the Hills is about the Indians being run out of town by the White Man. Iron Man is a very ironic song about a man trying to prevent the world from being ruined, and Highway Star and Slow Ride are songs about driving, the open road, and hauling arse to the absolute limit. Memorable music contains memorable lyrics.



You must finish strongly, and very few songs (and methods of entertainment in life) accomplish this. Sometimes the ending can make up for anything slow or weaker in the previous couple of minutes. Very few songs finish in extremely strong fashion. The tracks that stand the tallest happen to end in the best way. Remember Bohemian Rhapsody’s final piano notes and Mercury cooing the final words? Of course. Remember Highway Star’s thrashingly and blazingly fun finale? Of course. Remember Free Bird’s final guitar solo that never seems to end? Remember Master of Puppets’ cynical laughter as you’ve lost complete control? This is the music that continues to be played and adored, decades since its inception. Name a single song within the last 10 years that can finish as strong as the songs I’ve mentioned. The closest is Tool’s The Pot.

The bottom line is, the epic music is becoming harder and harder to find within the filth. Back then, bands were competing against each other to create the perfect music. Led Zeppelin was (sort of sort of) going up against Elvis. Megadeth was going up against Metallica. Whether it’s the laziness of the bands today, or because this modern-day ADD society doesn’t allow for such long songs to be crafted, it has been a while since we’ve had a truly epic song move fans of hard rock and metal. It is honestly hard to come up with the last time we had a flawless and age-resistant epic song---although surely there must have been something after Everlong by the Foo Fighters; I just can’t think of anything......

There must be a band out there that can prove me wrong. Is there anybody out there? I am challenging all of you musicians to come out and fight my claim. I want you to come out and bring out the best music you can come up with. Don’t just play fast because you know how to, also deliver understandable lyrics and strong vocals. In the 80s the thrash bands played fast because they were protesting glam rock. Don’t just play in distorted fashion to sound cool, give some meaning behind your music. Nirvana played in a dirty and messy manner because they too were protesting the glam-happy and clean-cut music of the 80s and early 90s. We need more complex guitar riffs, more flawlessly long guitar solos, more dramatic breakdowns that engage the audience in a collective headbang of the century, and more vocals that test the limits of your ears and the Richter scale.

Where are all you epic bands? Hiding? Not existing? Oh, you do exist? Well come out of hiding and bring it on, give all you’ve got. Until then, epic music is just a wonderful thing stuck in the past.

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