The economy is bouncing back, but not fast enough. The United States is still slumping just a bit as the value of the dollar is still rather low, and people are still not spending money like they used to. But have no fear: I have the ultimate solution. Now, this is by no means moral, and by no means is this a new idea. But nobody has ever stepped up to reveal all the positives that can quietly come with this rather brash and insane decision: legalize drugs. All of them (except for the extreme cases which will result in immediate death upon taking it). Legalize the pot, legalize the weed, legalize the marijuana. Whatever you want to call it, legalize it. And I can guarantee you nothing but good can come from this.
Let’s start with how it will boost the economy. Instead of spending your money under-the-table buying this stuff at ridiculous prices from people that clearly know its value, we can tax this stuff and nobody has to sneak around to purchase it. Taxes, as much as we hate them, benefit this country by fixing schools, roads, buildings, cities, etc. Can you imagine going to the pharmacies around the country and getting a good dosage of weed no questions asked? Not only will this totally nullify the crimes associated with the drug wars, but we can make some good tax money from all the weed sales that will undoubtedly increase after legalization.
Now, this not only makes money, but saves money. We don’t have to spend millions upon millions fighting drugs, because guess what, they are legal. No more expensive crackdowns, no more crazy court cases, the jails will not fill up with unnecessary people so we have more room for actual prisoners. Even better, we can end the drug war that is quietly killing thousands upon thousands of people in the Southwest U.S./Mexico border. No oil there, so no reason to discuss the immense violence invading the tip of Mexico. All that fighting is over drugs. If we legalize it, the drug bosses will have no power whatsoever, because you can now go elsewhere to make your purchases.
Back to making money. Here are all the places that will benefit from legalizing drugs: Wal-Mart, Taco Bell, McDonalds, gas stations, Waffle House, Burger King, IHOP, Dennys, anything that is open 24-hours and serves/sells food. Food sales will virtually explode around the country as all midnight locations can do a Happy Hour in which those already nicely jacked up on plants can get their munchies fix in Wal-Mart or restaurants and eat the entire night away. You may think that stores may hate junkies entering their place at 2 a.m. but when they are buying 15 bags of Doritos King Size—they won’t say a word.
Not only will the food scene immensely go up: but the art scene and the movie scene will also benefit. Movies that we know suck will suddenly be better when Mary is in your system. Art will actually make sense and actually speak to you if you focus hard enough—and have the influence of Mary on your side. Picasso, Frida, Dali, Pollock, perhaps even Matthew Barney (I’m pushing it now) will seem much more glorious than ever before. Just like how some women tend to look better when you are drunk (sorry ladies…), movies and art sometimes seem much much better when you are high as a kite. This will lead to more people watching movies, and more people buying art. Starving artists, this just might be your breakthrough. (In Before: “reading this article will seem better if I’m high hahahahahahahahahahahahaha”)
Imagine the farming! People will want to farm again, and states with plenty of land like Michigan, Iowa, Wyoming, Montana, Kansas, basically most of the Midwest will benefit from this. We can make as long as you grow a certain number of crops and livestock you can also grow weed and other shrubbery. I’m pretty sure the reputation of becoming a farmer would not only improve, but just might influence others that don’t know what to study to become farmers and live amongst the land, the trees, the animals, and the weed. I can see the advertising campaigns now…
Now, with all this great power, comes great…you know. We can treat these drugs like alcohol, a little is fine, too much is unnecessary and can lead to trouble. Just like if you drive while drunk you get in trouble, if you are high while driving or operating heavy machinery, you’ll also get a citation or whatnot. But drugs are usually done at home, relaxed, with friends. Nonetheless, we have to place limits, so people don’t go crazy and cause traffic jams because everyone is driving at 6 miles an hour.
Bottom Line: Obama will be in the Presidential Hall of Fame, will probably have his face on Mt. Rushmore if he fights to legalize drugs and succeeds. However, I am sure the old-school government will do anything in its power to never allow this from happening. Now, I am not a Mary-taker, but its inexcusable that something that can make the government and this country very good necessary money is still illegal—when the much more immoral and much more deadly alcohol and cigarettes is still legal and killing off more people. Just like prostitution and the Middle East, trying to fight it and solve the problem will never happen—as both have been around since before Jesus. With pot, it’s the same issue---make it illegal and we will still find ways of obtaining it—so why not just make it legal and take advantage of its money-making capabilities? This idea is just crazy enough to work.
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