Star Tours II is the long-waited, long-overdue sequel to the classic attraction that when first opened was ahead of its time, ahead of the curve, and definitely an immediate hit. While the ride remained entertaining, we all knew it was slightly dated. With Harry Potter over in the theme park dark side becoming a smash success, Disney decided to go to this ride and give it a much needed upgrade. It closed in fall of 2010 (amidst a lot of complaints nonetheless) and the details concerning the ride remained deathly secret. Nobody knew anything for the longest, we all just knew it was going to be 3-D and would have new destinations.
At the same time though I was deathly afraid that it was going to disappoint because of the recent streak of Disney’s newer attractions….and we are all still trying to mentally recover from the abysmal Pixar parade currently polluting Hollywood Studios. And let's not forget Disney Channel Rocks. Now that I think of it, Hollywood has seen better days. Not sure if my heart could handle Star Tours being disappointing.
The queue area is very similar to that of the original, except with a much more modern and cleaned-up look. C-3PO did not look like rusty metal, as he shined and gleamed as he talked to the cast member waiting around. In the next room there was less garbage being moved around, but the two robots inspecting the area hilariously interacted with each other and seemingly with the people waiting in line. There are cameos all over the place in this room, and totally makes up for the endless barrage of garbage that was being transported around in the original Tour. Patrick Warbuton lends his talents to yet another Disney thing, as he voices one of the robots.
The loading area was also the same, but looked cleaner, fresher, and much more Star Wars-like. After more endless waiting (It was only 5 minutes, but felt like 555), I was finally seated, with the 3-D glasses, ready to rock. Now, I am strongly against 3-D everything, but I was still willing to give it a shot. It is Star Wars after all.
The ride was like this: a Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza, Anniversary, Birthday, Unbirthday, Valentine’s, Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Grandparents’ Day, and Graduation present wrapped into one delicious package for Star Wars fans. The more embedded in the Star Wars culture you are, the more you are going to enjoy this ride. In other words, there will be tears and the manliest of men squealing like little girls during Star Wars Weekends while riding this. While the original had its subtle Star Wars references, this one has references sprinkling and scattered throughout the entire movie. This one also has a handful of references to the original Star Tours, and even one towards George Lucas himself.
Look at this number: 54. Remember this number: 54. There are 54 different variations of Star Tours---as there are multiple beginnings, multiple destinations, multiple surprises, multiple intermissions, and multiple endings. While the differences are small amongst the variations (aside from the potential destinations) the fact is you can ride this many times and chances are you’ll have a totally different experience. The five times I rode it I got something different, and they range from good to fun to spectacular. On one instance I was racing on Tatooine, on another I was smack in the middle of Hoth (my personal favorite), and even engaged in a high-speed escape in Coruscant, and at one point had a showdown with a familiar foe in Geonosis. I am still missing at least 4 destinations. I am begging, begging that they still kept the original battle on the Death Star from A New Hope.
Begging.
The 3-D aspect of the ride is by no means a distraction, and definitely loosely enhances the ride with some cool effects and some cool moments. Could it have been done without the 3-D? Perhaps, with a much wider screen. But the 3-D allows for the action to be closer to your face, as you’ll see many droids come after you, lasers fly towards you in a brisk pace, and even snow scatter through the corners of your eyes. I am not a true convert to 3-D (I will never watch it in movies) but I will accept the fact that in order for Star Tours II to truly function, the glasses are needed.
Now of course, there comes its drawback. You know I had to find one--even though technically it was another Star Wars fan that started this conversation. The first Star Tours had a concrete storyline and it worked; basically a tour went wrong as you land smack inside a battle to destroy the death star. In here however, the chronological order of the adventures you encounter sometimes doesn’t work as you may start off at Hoth (Episode V), but then wind up in the past (Episode III) as you fight in the planet __________ (I can’t spoil every detail now). Disney has backed off a little on adding cohesive storylines to its attractions (What the heck is Toy Story Mania about anyway??) but you aren’t going to care as your tour blasts through multiple destinations in the Star Wars canon. And, they all look spectacular too. Even the locations from the prequels (heh, heh, heh...)
Bottom Line: Star Tours II is not just a remake, but instead a long-overdue (I am re-using these words, I know, shut up) sequel/celebration of the Star Wars franchise, and all the characters, settings, and mayhem involved in the six epic movie chapters. The special effects are definitely improved, the 3-D effects are nice, and the sheer variety of the ride itself doesn’t just warrant but flat-out demands multiple visits. There honestly is little that can be improved upon, as the Imagineers were truly given the freedom (and budget) to create an out-of-the-ordinary experience. If they honestly had the same amount of creativity they imposed on this ride to most other Disney attractions, we would have a totally different Walt Disney World. But that’s another story (and eventually another article). In the meantime, I strongly recommend the new Star Tours, and especially if you are a Star Wars fan.
And then ride it again. And again. And again.
P.S. These Vader cupcakes are freakin' legit.
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