Saw, No. 7 - Saw 3D (2010)

I have been hypothesizing ever since Saw IV about the series’ slow, steady death, kept afloat merely by adequate box office. Saw VI seemed to ring that bell, performing well under expectations – possibly because Paranormal Activity stole its thunder, possibly because of memories of how much Saw V sucked. At any rate, the decree was put out, that the seventh Saw would be the final Saw. Never-leaving screenwriting Saw-yers Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan were press ganged to meld their ideas for a potential Saw VIII (ah, so they do plan far in advance! – they knew how lame Saw V was!) all together into Saw VII.

Saw VII?! Try Saw 3D. For on top of crowing publicly how this is the “final” Saw, they had another tricksy gimmick to lure in jerks’ money. (As for that “finality,” any series with longevity patterns similar to Friday the 13th doesn’t simply end like this. Hell, the word “final” appears twice in Friday films – The Final Chapter and The Final Friday – and each time twas a lie. [They also use the word “new” two times, but that’s not today’s concern…] Anyway, Saw 3D’s not so much “final” as it is just the start of a lull in production – though calling it “final” increases potential box office, which decreases its likely “finality,” meaning – Oh, my brain hurts!)

Where was I?! Oh right, so Saw 3D is in 3D – Hence they had to deviate from their elegant sequel-naming pattern to trumpet that fact. Isn’t it enough to know any genre sequel put out in 2010 is automatically in 3D?! Oh well…


It’ll be difficult to address the plot and content of this thing without resorting to spoilers or a full-on summary, especially since these Saw films seem to demand such an approach. Whatever, it’s easy enough to note several different bifurcated threads now expected of a Saw sequel. Hell, each sequel introduces new, contrary, bipolar needs, far more than the original Saw ever had to contend with. How does this artless argument work?

# 1. An innocent person in a devious trap – The first Saw was founded, essentially, upon the notion of awaking chained in a restroom, like some frat stunt gone very, very awry. All else – the details defining the Jigsaw Killer – were just details. As sequels came about, this necessary plot construct remained – with a rotating roster of new victims much like new teenagers to a summer camp. Most horror franchises would be contented with simply repeating this format ad nauseum, but the Saw-quels needed more. Much more…

# 2. The never-ending soap opera of Jigsaw and his many, many apprentices – Saw II climaxed by revealing Jigsaw, the robe-wearing trap-maker (a trappist monk), had a buddy in Amanda. Opening this Pandora’s Box, and delving more and more into Jigsaw’s jig-job, demands the mythology expand ever more in each successive sequel – like a Jenga game coming ever closer to toppling. By the start of Saw 3D, there have now been (at least) three Junior Jigsaws, each one revealed in a new twist ending. One starts to expect this twist.

# 3. The sadly necessary police investigation – Around the time of Saw III, continuing cop characters were getting bumped off as though the series was ending. And yet it didn’t, so new cop leads had to be promoted on an almost per-entry basis, much like the revolving victim roster. These guys are boring (and surprisingly incompetent), but they’re needed to offer up insight and confusion in regards to the former need, mythology. Keep in mind, this strand is usually 80% independent of the victims and the killers, making it just another unrelated subplot – until the twist can come around to resolve it all.


# 4. Somehow maintaining Jigsaw’s presence - Saw IV’s challenge was to keep star Tobin Bell around as John Kramer, the Jigsaw Killer, even after his body had been systematically processed into countless different sausages. There are two methods to this – One is to state, by fiat, that each new scheme (basically, # 1, the victims’ traps) is yet another game Jigsaw worked out one day on the john prior to his death. (This undercuts what minimal impact trapper keeper Detective Hoffman, the active killer, has.)

The other method is to force in ever more flashbacks to Kramer’s life, adding more and more new information until that dam is ready to burst – a leaking dam and a toppling Jenga, the two metaphors this franchise suggests. Like all these approaches, this one frays with time, losing its potency, believability, surprise and usefulness, like a rope stretched too thin – ooh, another metaphor. (Oh, and these flashbacks too remain mostly independent from all other plot threads!)

# 5. Twists, twists, twists – Twists did not originate with Saw V, but boy was that flick hampered by the need to withhold all useful plot-furthering until the final 8 minutes. It doesn’t help that its twist(s) reeked, barely adding anything. As long as new sequels could come afterwards, one could always over-plan for them, under-delivering on this year’s product. And Saw V simply existed to fashion a last-minute twist, and to prop up the far superior Saw VI.

# 6. Oh right, and heaping sluices of gore too! – Dribbling pus buckets of biological slime sort of peaked with Saw III, but they keep trying (as much as the MPAA will allow, at least). See Saw VI’s efforts to wring out whatever new forms of evisceration hadn’t previously been exploited, while also increasing the mental and moral torture. Hence the addition of a literally rotating victim roster, in the form of its merry-go-round trap. Of all the Saw deliverables, this one at least isn’t plot-dependent, and really is what all horror often does. But inspiration does wane.


Saw 3D even adds its own new notion to this list:

# 7. Openly satirizing (and even parodying) the Saw concept as much as Saw allows – One of Saw 3D’s genuine new ideas is to examine the Jigsaw survivors, now so numerous they hold crowded AA-style meetings on a weekly basis – though casting issues creates many new survivors we’ve never seen before, calling Jigsaw’s reach into question. No matter, the founding premise that Jigsaw’s traps (if survived) improve one’s life, this notion is questioned mightily. It is poked, torn into and eviscerated as badly as one of Jigsaw’s test subjects. Thankfully, this latest thread (self-parody being necessary for even the most dour, humorless multi-sequel horror franchise – that being Saw) is sub-textual, and leads directly into what Saw 3D does with #1.

# 1 (Victims) – Victim Numero Uno in 3D is Bobby Dagen (Boondock Saint Sean Patrick Flannery), a self-help guru whose media fame comes from whoring his ostensible Jigsaw survival. Considering he’s been in no films before – though my Saw memory is crumbling just enough for me to question this – one is right to question Bobby’s boasting. Indeed, it is a lie, pure hogwash, and it’s just amazing this fable could escape the notice of the freaking police…No, wait, these are the police in Saw. But why would you build a fortune on openly taunting a still-alive serial killer like this?! It is to Saw as driving to an abandoned campground is to slasher movies. And it knows it.

So…Bobby is captured, and forced through exactly the same predicament as the protagonists of Saws III and VI – to wander a chronological series of other people’s demises, with an hour to save his own wife. No points for originality! This path is themed off his book, allowing a deconstruction of the Saw M.O. which ain’t all that clever, but I’ll take it. “S.U.R.V.I.V.E.,” each letter a new trial for Bobby, even while his co-conspirators – his publicist, his lawyer, and his other guy – only number three. Their traps and sadly inescapable deaths – which I shan’t spoil here, for ‘tis the blogger’s code – seem themed on hearing, seeing and speaking no evil. You know, those three sinless monkeys? Just which is which, though, I cannot say.


The thing is this cannot have much to do with the other threads, despite a last minute police incursion. On top of satisfying nebulous self-satire, Bobby’s odyssey hasn’t much to offer. For series concerns really now lie in –

# 2 (Killer mythos) – Right, so Saw VI ended with the promise of Kramer’s two surviving protégés going head-to-head, a battle royale with traps as the weapon. Given the epic Saw-down I’d primed for, it’s disappointing that the newest villain, Jill Tuck (Betsy Russell) – Kramer’s ex-wife – pretty much instantly caves to police protection. That leaves Hoffman (Costas Mandylor, finally exhibiting some villainous charisma three films too late) as the only trap-happy Jigsaw junky. Even while he’s achieving Bobby’s belittling for no reason except the formulaic (and because it was next in Kramer’s potentially bottomless to-do pile), Hoffman has the time to play the entire police force like so many Billy puppets in an effort to reach Jill in her jail cell.

Jill seriously disappoints in this entry, reduced at the very end to literally a big-chested blonde racing around helplessly, hiding uselessly, and not picking up the copious available weapons. Yeesh, this is Slasher 101! I really can’t believe they went there!

There is more to the mythos than that (there always is), but it is twist dependent, so it’ll go mostly unuttered.

# 3 (Police) – Because Jill (and the screenwriters) have exhausted the possibilities of both the detectives and the FBI, our police protagonist presently is Internal Affairs officer Matt Gibson (Chad Donella, of the other ‘00s horror franchise, Final Destination), who has never appeared before now. That’s how stretched this thread is, there is no one left but brand new ciphers – not much life expectancy there.

By now, even the cops know Hoffman is the killer (three or so films after audiences worked it out). Gibson’s quest to catch him is spurred on by an opening trap – not the opening trap, for those are purely ceremonial at this point (the one today made unique by a nifty public display angle that is never again visited). No, Gibson’s investigation begins when…well, all I can say is a car severs several ciphers (racists), in a moment of pure nuttiness that is the acme of a certain Saw mindset (goo-drenched and gigglesome). Clues are ladled about so again the audience sees them before Gibson does (and we’re not even given any advantages). Some cops race to stop the Bobby game, others attempt to capture Hoffman, and – well, let’s leave the rest of this to the Gore section…

# 4 (Kramer’s flashbacks) – There are so many threads to juggle now, and one had to falter. Why’d it have to be this one?! Without exaggeration, first-billed performer Tobin Bell gets literally under 2 minutes of screen time here, in one scene and one video tape! Bad call!

You’d think that means they’re actually trying to rely upon Costas Mandylor now – HA! Rather, it’s because at last we get the return of Saw I’s Dr. Lawrence “Gimpy” Gordon (Cary Elwes, more effectively villainous than Mandylor – in a performance far better than that in Saw). That’s all well and good, except…well, let’s just say Gordon is in only one scene. (Or is he?)


# 5 (Spoilers) – SPOILER!

SPOILER!

SPOILER!

I won’t flat out reveal 3D’s twists, but I will hint strongly. Think about it. What twist have they abused time and again in these films? And what cast member is given very little to do?...That’s right, it turns out John Kramer is John Kramer’s latest assistant!...Wait, that doesn’t make sense.

I lied, lied about Jigsaw – Uh oh!, he’s gonna target me Bobby-style now!

The other twist (‘cause there’s gotta be two) is simply this: Creating the impression of finality. That basically means a climax of such vicious, outrageous proportions, it’s sort of like the Godfather baptism of the horror genre. (Seriously, 3D doubles VI’s already ridiculous body count, nearly halving the rest of the series’ combined. Huzzah!) (Meaning about 70% of the deaths in Saw are from the last two – yup, it’s horror sequelitis defined.) So, pretty much everybody is dead by the end, except the people who’ve secretly been kept alive for the inevitable gritty reboot. I’d only buy things as truly final if Saw-ville was nuked, but oh well.

(Some thoughts on what city this takes place in: Cin-Saw-nnati, Saw-cago, Saw-n Francisco, Lo-Saw-ngeles, Saw-nta Fe, Punx-Saw-tawney. I could do more, but let’s keep it to the U.S.)


# 6 (Gore) – An intestine hit my face. Some other stuff too. There’s very little from the latter half of 3D in the trailer, simply because it’d be unallowable to show. It didn’t squick me out – III’s brain surgery remains unassailable – but seeing a Saw theatrically sure suggests differing opinions. But the eye-gougings never reach full Fulcian levels, as the editing pace remains pretty loco. We often cut away before they get cut away, if you follow, but still…This is the mightiest gore 2010 will offer, methinks.

That’s a beastly load of strands to keep together, even without scads of flashbacks to flash back to. This’d be a challenge to hold together, even in the best of circumstances. For some silly, silly reason, producers wanted director Daryl Hackl, of the boring, boring Saw V. That was until they realized Saw V was boring. Rather, they exercised a legal clause Kramer himself would be proud of, forcing back VI’s much better Kevin Greutert even while forcing him away from otherwise directing Paranormal Activity 2 (that’s so amusing). He gets the job done, not quite as well as VI I’d say, but about as well as you’d expect an irate director at gunpoint could. With 3D filming equipment. When he’d started filming the same day he first read the script. And then rewrote it. And had the sets changed. Yeahhhh…

The Saw series isn’t over with, oh no, though 3D is final enough to warrant watching these things in close succession. But no matter, come money, desperation, eventual nostalgia, some day there’ll be another Saw. At the very least, set your calendars for the 2034 remake – maybe that’ll be able to do what no Saw could, and really work out the original restroom premise. But until then –

GAME OVER!


Related posts:
• No. 1 Saw (2004)
• No. 2 Saw II (2005)
• No. 3 Saw III (2006)
• No. 4 Saw IV (2007)
• No. 5 Saw V (2008)
• No. 6 Saw VI (2009)

Saw, No. 7 - Saw 3D (2010)

I have been hypothesizing ever since Saw IV about the series’ slow, steady death, kept afloat merely by adequate box office. Saw VI seemed to ring that bell, performing well under expectations – possibly because Paranormal Activity stole its thunder, possibly because of memories of how much Saw V sucked. At any rate, the decree was put out, that the seventh Saw would be the final Saw. Never-leaving screenwriting Saw-yers Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan were press ganged to meld their ideas for a potential Saw VIII (ah, so they do plan far in advance! – they knew how lame Saw V was!) all together into Saw VII.

Saw VII?! Try Saw 3D. For on top of crowing publicly how this is the “final” Saw, they had another tricksy gimmick to lure in jerks’ money. (As for that “finality,” any series with longevity patterns similar to Friday the 13th doesn’t simply end like this. Hell, the word “final” appears twice in Friday films – The Final Chapter and The Final Friday – and each time twas a lie. [They also use the word “new” two times, but that’s not today’s concern…] Anyway, Saw 3D’s not so much “final” as it is just the start of a lull in production – though calling it “final” increases potential box office, which decreases its likely “finality,” meaning – Oh, my brain hurts!)

Where was I?! Oh right, so Saw 3D is in 3D – Hence they had to deviate from their elegant sequel-naming pattern to trumpet that fact. Isn’t it enough to know any genre sequel put out in 2010 is automatically in 3D?! Oh well…


It’ll be difficult to address the plot and content of this thing without resorting to spoilers or a full-on summary, especially since these Saw films seem to demand such an approach. Whatever, it’s easy enough to note several different bifurcated threads now expected of a Saw sequel. Hell, each sequel introduces new, contrary, bipolar needs, far more than the original Saw ever had to contend with. How does this artless argument work?

# 1. An innocent person in a devious trap – The first Saw was founded, essentially, upon the notion of awaking chained in a restroom, like some frat stunt gone very, very awry. All else – the details defining the Jigsaw Killer – were just details. As sequels came about, this necessary plot construct remained – with a rotating roster of new victims much like new teenagers to a summer camp. Most horror franchises would be contented with simply repeating this format ad nauseum, but the Saw-quels needed more. Much more…

# 2. The never-ending soap opera of Jigsaw and his many, many apprentices – Saw II climaxed by revealing Jigsaw, the robe-wearing trap-maker (a trappist monk), had a buddy in Amanda. Opening this Pandora’s Box, and delving more and more into Jigsaw’s jig-job, demands the mythology expand ever more in each successive sequel – like a Jenga game coming ever closer to toppling. By the start of Saw 3D, there have now been (at least) three Junior Jigsaws, each one revealed in a new twist ending. One starts to expect this twist.

# 3. The sadly necessary police investigation – Around the time of Saw III, continuing cop characters were getting bumped off as though the series was ending. And yet it didn’t, so new cop leads had to be promoted on an almost per-entry basis, much like the revolving victim roster. These guys are boring (and surprisingly incompetent), but they’re needed to offer up insight and confusion in regards to the former need, mythology. Keep in mind, this strand is usually 80% independent of the victims and the killers, making it just another unrelated subplot – until the twist can come around to resolve it all.


# 4. Somehow maintaining Jigsaw’s presence - Saw IV’s challenge was to keep star Tobin Bell around as John Kramer, the Jigsaw Killer, even after his body had been systematically processed into countless different sausages. There are two methods to this – One is to state, by fiat, that each new scheme (basically, # 1, the victims’ traps) is yet another game Jigsaw worked out one day on the john prior to his death. (This undercuts what minimal impact trapper keeper Detective Hoffman, the active killer, has.)

The other method is to force in ever more flashbacks to Kramer’s life, adding more and more new information until that dam is ready to burst – a leaking dam and a toppling Jenga, the two metaphors this franchise suggests. Like all these approaches, this one frays with time, losing its potency, believability, surprise and usefulness, like a rope stretched too thin – ooh, another metaphor. (Oh, and these flashbacks too remain mostly independent from all other plot threads!)

# 5. Twists, twists, twists – Twists did not originate with Saw V, but boy was that flick hampered by the need to withhold all useful plot-furthering until the final 8 minutes. It doesn’t help that its twist(s) reeked, barely adding anything. As long as new sequels could come afterwards, one could always over-plan for them, under-delivering on this year’s product. And Saw V simply existed to fashion a last-minute twist, and to prop up the far superior Saw VI.

# 6. Oh right, and heaping sluices of gore too! – Dribbling pus buckets of biological slime sort of peaked with Saw III, but they keep trying (as much as the MPAA will allow, at least). See Saw VI’s efforts to wring out whatever new forms of evisceration hadn’t previously been exploited, while also increasing the mental and moral torture. Hence the addition of a literally rotating victim roster, in the form of its merry-go-round trap. Of all the Saw deliverables, this one at least isn’t plot-dependent, and really is what all horror often does. But inspiration does wane.


Saw 3D even adds its own new notion to this list:

# 7. Openly satirizing (and even parodying) the Saw concept as much as Saw allows – One of Saw 3D’s genuine new ideas is to examine the Jigsaw survivors, now so numerous they hold crowded AA-style meetings on a weekly basis – though casting issues creates many new survivors we’ve never seen before, calling Jigsaw’s reach into question. No matter, the founding premise that Jigsaw’s traps (if survived) improve one’s life, this notion is questioned mightily. It is poked, torn into and eviscerated as badly as one of Jigsaw’s test subjects. Thankfully, this latest thread (self-parody being necessary for even the most dour, humorless multi-sequel horror franchise – that being Saw) is sub-textual, and leads directly into what Saw 3D does with #1.

# 1 (Victims) – Victim Numero Uno in 3D is Bobby Dagen (Boondock Saint Sean Patrick Flannery), a self-help guru whose media fame comes from whoring his ostensible Jigsaw survival. Considering he’s been in no films before – though my Saw memory is crumbling just enough for me to question this – one is right to question Bobby’s boasting. Indeed, it is a lie, pure hogwash, and it’s just amazing this fable could escape the notice of the freaking police…No, wait, these are the police in Saw. But why would you build a fortune on openly taunting a still-alive serial killer like this?! It is to Saw as driving to an abandoned campground is to slasher movies. And it knows it.

So…Bobby is captured, and forced through exactly the same predicament as the protagonists of Saws III and VI – to wander a chronological series of other people’s demises, with an hour to save his own wife. No points for originality! This path is themed off his book, allowing a deconstruction of the Saw M.O. which ain’t all that clever, but I’ll take it. “S.U.R.V.I.V.E.,” each letter a new trial for Bobby, even while his co-conspirators – his publicist, his lawyer, and his other guy – only number three. Their traps and sadly inescapable deaths – which I shan’t spoil here, for ‘tis the blogger’s code – seem themed on hearing, seeing and speaking no evil. You know, those three sinless monkeys? Just which is which, though, I cannot say.


The thing is this cannot have much to do with the other threads, despite a last minute police incursion. On top of satisfying nebulous self-satire, Bobby’s odyssey hasn’t much to offer. For series concerns really now lie in –

# 2 (Killer mythos) – Right, so Saw VI ended with the promise of Kramer’s two surviving protégés going head-to-head, a battle royale with traps as the weapon. Given the epic Saw-down I’d primed for, it’s disappointing that the newest villain, Jill Tuck (Betsy Russell) – Kramer’s ex-wife – pretty much instantly caves to police protection. That leaves Hoffman (Costas Mandylor, finally exhibiting some villainous charisma three films too late) as the only trap-happy Jigsaw junky. Even while he’s achieving Bobby’s belittling for no reason except the formulaic (and because it was next in Kramer’s potentially bottomless to-do pile), Hoffman has the time to play the entire police force like so many Billy puppets in an effort to reach Jill in her jail cell.

Jill seriously disappoints in this entry, reduced at the very end to literally a big-chested blonde racing around helplessly, hiding uselessly, and not picking up the copious available weapons. Yeesh, this is Slasher 101! I really can’t believe they went there!

There is more to the mythos than that (there always is), but it is twist dependent, so it’ll go mostly unuttered.

# 3 (Police) – Because Jill (and the screenwriters) have exhausted the possibilities of both the detectives and the FBI, our police protagonist presently is Internal Affairs officer Matt Gibson (Chad Donella, of the other ‘00s horror franchise, Final Destination), who has never appeared before now. That’s how stretched this thread is, there is no one left but brand new ciphers – not much life expectancy there.

By now, even the cops know Hoffman is the killer (three or so films after audiences worked it out). Gibson’s quest to catch him is spurred on by an opening trap – not the opening trap, for those are purely ceremonial at this point (the one today made unique by a nifty public display angle that is never again visited). No, Gibson’s investigation begins when…well, all I can say is a car severs several ciphers (racists), in a moment of pure nuttiness that is the acme of a certain Saw mindset (goo-drenched and gigglesome). Clues are ladled about so again the audience sees them before Gibson does (and we’re not even given any advantages). Some cops race to stop the Bobby game, others attempt to capture Hoffman, and – well, let’s leave the rest of this to the Gore section…

# 4 (Kramer’s flashbacks) – There are so many threads to juggle now, and one had to falter. Why’d it have to be this one?! Without exaggeration, first-billed performer Tobin Bell gets literally under 2 minutes of screen time here, in one scene and one video tape! Bad call!

You’d think that means they’re actually trying to rely upon Costas Mandylor now – HA! Rather, it’s because at last we get the return of Saw I’s Dr. Lawrence “Gimpy” Gordon (Cary Elwes, more effectively villainous than Mandylor – in a performance far better than that in Saw). That’s all well and good, except…well, let’s just say Gordon is in only one scene. (Or is he?)


# 5 (Spoilers) – SPOILER!

SPOILER!

SPOILER!

I won’t flat out reveal 3D’s twists, but I will hint strongly. Think about it. What twist have they abused time and again in these films? And what cast member is given very little to do?...That’s right, it turns out John Kramer is John Kramer’s latest assistant!...Wait, that doesn’t make sense.

I lied, lied about Jigsaw – Uh oh!, he’s gonna target me Bobby-style now!

The other twist (‘cause there’s gotta be two) is simply this: Creating the impression of finality. That basically means a climax of such vicious, outrageous proportions, it’s sort of like the Godfather baptism of the horror genre. (Seriously, 3D doubles VI’s already ridiculous body count, nearly halving the rest of the series’ combined. Huzzah!) (Meaning about 70% of the deaths in Saw are from the last two – yup, it’s horror sequelitis defined.) So, pretty much everybody is dead by the end, except the people who’ve secretly been kept alive for the inevitable gritty reboot. I’d only buy things as truly final if Saw-ville was nuked, but oh well.

(Some thoughts on what city this takes place in: Cin-Saw-nnati, Saw-cago, Saw-n Francisco, Lo-Saw-ngeles, Saw-nta Fe, Punx-Saw-tawney. I could do more, but let’s keep it to the U.S.)


# 6 (Gore) – An intestine hit my face. Some other stuff too. There’s very little from the latter half of 3D in the trailer, simply because it’d be unallowable to show. It didn’t squick me out – III’s brain surgery remains unassailable – but seeing a Saw theatrically sure suggests differing opinions. But the eye-gougings never reach full Fulcian levels, as the editing pace remains pretty loco. We often cut away before they get cut away, if you follow, but still…This is the mightiest gore 2010 will offer, methinks.

That’s a beastly load of strands to keep together, even without scads of flashbacks to flash back to. This’d be a challenge to hold together, even in the best of circumstances. For some silly, silly reason, producers wanted director Daryl Hackl, of the boring, boring Saw V. That was until they realized Saw V was boring. Rather, they exercised a legal clause Kramer himself would be proud of, forcing back VI’s much better Kevin Greutert even while forcing him away from otherwise directing Paranormal Activity 2 (that’s so amusing). He gets the job done, not quite as well as VI I’d say, but about as well as you’d expect an irate director at gunpoint could. With 3D filming equipment. When he’d started filming the same day he first read the script. And then rewrote it. And had the sets changed. Yeahhhh…

The Saw series isn’t over with, oh no, though 3D is final enough to warrant watching these things in close succession. But no matter, come money, desperation, eventual nostalgia, some day there’ll be another Saw. At the very least, set your calendars for the 2034 remake – maybe that’ll be able to do what no Saw could, and really work out the original restroom premise. But until then –

GAME OVER!


Related posts:
• No. 1 Saw (2004)
• No. 2 Saw II (2005)
• No. 3 Saw III (2006)
• No. 4 Saw IV (2007)
• No. 5 Saw V (2008)
• No. 6 Saw VI (2009)

Saw, No. 6 - Saw VI (2009)

Seeing as there was an October in 2009, there was a Saw. But this wasn’t just any old Saw, with the diminishing returns of Saws IV and V. No, with Saw VI we learned that the second Saw era, the era connected with the retreat of writers James Wan and Leigh Whannell and the ascent of writers Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan, was in fact the “second trilogy.” And Saw VI would be the capper! This is a good thing, too, because Saw VI serves to answer all the damned lazy story threads that were left intentionally dangling. Hell, in a way Saws IV through VI almost work – but only as a single unit, taken as a whole. They surely don’t work individually. This sort of storytelling has a place, in shorter serialized media such as TV shows (dangling threads in “Lost” aren’t nearly so problematic). I cannot imagine how aggravating the years of 2007 – 2009 must’ve been for Saw fans. Hell, the three days I’ve devoted to them were frustrating enough!

What makes Saw VI an improvement is not only its conclusive ending (never mind Saw 3D for a moment), but the sense you feel while travelling there that this all means something. Credit there must go to first time director Kevin Greutert, former Saw editor – at last my pain has a name! He is a mighty step above Saw V’s David Hackl, bringing far momentum to the proceedings than a Part Six deserves.


What’s the opening trap? Let’s just get it out of the way now, for these things are always mostly disposable. Two predatory bank lenders are forced to race each other. The one who can sever the post body parts in one minute wins. The other gets a screw to the brain, which sounds like a cocktail. The one not pictured cleaves her arm off; she wins.

Now we can get down to business concerning the sole surviving Jigsaw protégé, Detective Mark Hoffman (Costas Mandylor), someone no one is really interested in. And after wasting two films getting Hoffman in this enviable position, the writers have now heard the complaints, and go about resolving it. For one, the retroactive influence of John “Jigsaw” Kramer (Tobin Bell, still top-billed) is more pertinent, even though it’s is danged annoying that this is his fourth “final game.” Furthermore, there’s another twist, thrown out early on and thus not warranting the huge SPOILER tag: Kramer had a third accomplice!

“Now wait,” someone presumably says, “doesn’t this crap get lamer with each additional assistant?” Well, they’ve righted that issue, actually. The assistant in question is Kramer’s ex-wife, Jill Tuck (Betsy Russell). Well…sort of. Flashbacks later reveal she was well familiar with her ex-husbands human-killing ways (bless this amoral franchise). She even received a box from Kramer in probate during Saw V – which was such a throwaway bit of sequel seeding I didn’t even mention Jill for that entry. But we’ll see how that plays out here…later.


One of the other significant improvements Saw VI makes over its immediate predecessors is to make its victim pool matter…slightly. That means we get to meet the gore-sacks ahead of schedule, and even see them doing something other than having marital woes! Overseeing Umbrella Health – what is this, Resident Evil?! – is William Easton (Peter Outerbridge), health insurance bigwig and serial policy denier. Buried here is information – a lot like Kramer’s intro in the original Saw – that’ll be important later: William has just denied coverage to a sick man, Harold Abbot, for weakly trumped-up reasons. But let’s ignore that until the twists, because there is an elephant in my room – AAAAH!

Saw VI is topical! Who’d a-thunk a torture pornography (torno) sequel would take a side in the health care debate (and predatory lending) – and almost certainly make a more cogent argument than Michael Moore. Of course, it’s just slightly hypocritical to argue the sanctity of human life when your body count’s in the double digits, so Saw VI’ll never be the poster child for anti-death panelists, but still… Satire is a frequent purpose of horror, so it’s bracing to see the torno subgenre attempt this approach. And given Jigsaw’s intended metaphors-by-way-of-mutilation, it’s almost the trick Saw was made for! I can’t say this is wholly successful, because I don’t want to engage a political issue (too busy dissecting horror flicks), but it’s a way, in your fifth sequel, to get the attention of people who wouldn’t otherwise give a pound of flesh.

Deflecting any criticism about the health care thing, Saw VI has picked up a (dark) sense of humor about all the contradictions in Jigsaw’s worldview.

The dilemma William & Co. find themselves in is thrown together by Hoffman in response to the tape found during Kramer’s autopsy – sure it opened Saw IV, but it takes place NOW (way to leave plot strands wasted for two films!). Indeed, Hoffman’s being forced into this. That unresolved blackmailing from Saw V, it’s being enacted now. Because that unopened box from Saw V, it had 6 envelopes in it, listing the key players in William’s game, and Jill is forcing Hoffman’s involvement. Which does Hoffman no favors, since FBI agent Dan Erickson (Mark Rolston) is closing in on Hoffman’s guilt.

Also, Agent Perez is still alive, this being the last straw to render Saw V completely worthless. Why was this done? Basically, so there’s someone else to kill this time. And presumably resurrect again for Saw 3D, because nothing ever “takes.”

This write-up’s kind of skipping around with nary any direction, but it IS a Saw review.


Okay, enough dilly-dallying, William awakes in Jigsaw-like circumstances. And the Jigsaw video – which is actually Kramer, no silly puppets or anything – announces four tests to examine the limits of William’s health care policies. And the first is up – now!

Across from William is his janitor, Janitor (yeah, don’t name ‘im or anything). And the test: first one to breathe a whole lot dies. Janitor is a smoker, so he’ll lose. Good thing too, really, because otherwise this whole scenario sort of dies in its infancy. And then William will never be able to “see his family again.” (There’s some more rules, like a 60 minute timer and proximity hand-lacerators, which I’ll mostly neglect.)

As Kramer mentions William’s family, we meet two more characters – a mother and teenaged son, bound in a zoo cell. (This movie takes place in an abandoned zoo – what’s this city’s problem?!) I cannot find any two actors listed with William’s last name (or any repeated last name), so for now I’m not sure who these people are. That’s an important detail. Also, there is a big vat of acid in the cell, whose function is currently unclear.

Meanwhile, in the cougar cage next door to them is…a cougar. It’s Pamela Jenkins (Samantha Lemole) really, the sensationalizing journalist with a tell-all book on the Jigsaw Killer – it’s this franchise’s Gale Weathers. For good measure, we get to see her kidnapping in flashback – a well-distinguished flashback, one of director Greutert’s greatest contributions.


William’s second test is in the reptile room. William is given a quandary. Who would you save, if you could only save one, a perfectly healthy young guy with no family, or a sick old lady with many loved ones? The other one will be hanged with barbed wire. But don’t worry, Saw is fictional.

(Also remember back in the day – Part One – when all Jigsaw’s victims were ostensibly capable of rescuing themselves? We lost that conceit long ago, but nothing plays up that change more than Saw VI’s endless progression of forced dead innocents.)


As one reaches halfway through a Saw movie, the flashbacks become thick and heavy. There are two flashback strands in Saw VI. Thankfully, both heavily feature Kramer.

In one strand, a pre-Jigsaw Kramer repeatedly visits with William, seeking his OK for an experimental cancer treatment. This is the writers’ chance to get all topical about Obama Care, and Bell’s acting skill saves it from the doldrums of soapboxing. Notably, Kramer claims there is one facet William has neglected in his insurance formula: will to live.

In the other strand, franchise mythology and back story are reworked yet again, with Amanda, Hoffman and Jill all squeezed into the prelims to Saw III. That Amanda knew all about this stuff opens up a great plot hole re: that film’s ending, which they’ll actually resolve in Saw VI’s twist. Jill is prepped with a key for “when the time’s right” – that time also being Saw VI. And Hoffman asks about how many ridiculous posthumous schemes Kramer has in mind. “How many next times are there gonna be?” Quoth Kramer, “However many there needs to be.” HA! The Saw sequels just became self aware!


There will be far more flashbacks inserted to twist series continuity far worse than Timothy Young (Saw III reference – why do I know that?!). For now, it’s time for William’s next inconsequential task. His secretary Debbie has the traditional one minute to navigate an obstacle course riddled with hot steam, with William offering aid by redirecting steam directly into his foolish mug (could’ve ducked away, but we’d’ve missed out on a character’s pain). But that’s just a precursor to the real game, where Debbie learns the key to free her head harness (what, you didn’t guess a Saw victim would be in a head harness?) is in William’s gut. William refuses to unsew his recent stitches, so Debbie attacks him with a circular saw. Boy, isn’t Williams (and Jigsaw) lucky her harness kills her before she could kill him?

A brief intermission so Erickson can close in on Hoffman’s vocal signature on his Jigsaw tapes, then it’s right back to –


– Williams, wandering in on his final test. His six top analysts await, lashed to a merry-go-round, spinning before an automatic shotgun. It is up to William to decide which two will live. William makes his choice, and four people die. Sorry, guys, your boss once pissed off a nascent serial killer. I’d really love to see an ethicist make a serious consideration of these films.

Okay, now Erickson’s investigation can come to fruition. The taped voice unscrambles for Erickson, Perez, Hoffman, and a random lab tech. At last it proves to be the flat, anonymous, presumably unmistakable tones of Costas Mandylor, so…

You know what, we’re only a couple of minutes out from four wanton deaths. Obviously it’s time for three more, right? Okay, so Hoffman slashes Erickson’s throat, uses the nameless and doomed lab tech as a human shield (Perez shoots her), then simply stabs Perez a whole lot. And to ensure this act doesn’t come back to haunt him (yeah right!), Hoffman slathers the crime scene with the dead Agent Strahm’s fingerprints – because Hoffman keeps Strahm’s severed hand in his car trunk, right next to the spare tire. Also, Hoffman burns down the lab.

There is a freakish amount of collateral in Saw VI. I didn’t even mention the poor security guard William shot dead before he was kidnapped. They’re showing off, after the mostly corpseless Saw V.

With all the dead wood now cut, stabbed, shot or burned away, we can enter End Game.

SPOILER!

SPOILER!

SPOILER!

Old “Two Twist” Jigsaw strikes again. The first twist is less obvious but also less important. It occurs as William reaches the cell where his “family” awaits. And it turns out his family’s not the mother and son I’ve yet to hear names for. It’s Pamela, the journalist next door. Hmm, her extra characteristics, and pre-kidnapping character scenes, were effective red herrings. Tara and Brent, meanwhile (for those are their names), are Harold Abbot’s family – you know, that guy who died when William denied him coverage. A video now exposits that it’s up to them to decide if William should die – provided William obliges by standing in precisely the right spot. Tara is unwilling to commit blatant murder, so her son does it instead – there’s a switch in their cell. We’re not supposed to mull the morality of Brett’s decision, because we’d rather marvel as William impales on a grate of sorts, and is injected full of acid. At last, they came up with something that can rival Saw III’s impromptu brain surgery for sticky-icky!


Twist # 2 is actually compounded of many revelations. Let’s take this chronologically…

It turns out Amanda is the one responsible for killing Uncle Ben, causing Peter Parker to become Spider-Man – wait, I mean, she killed Kramer’s son. That is, she drove junky extraordinaire Cecil (see IV) to Jill’s clinic, resulting in her franchise-spawning miscarriage.

Kramer did not know this, apparently, as he rather targeted Amanda later for unrelated Jigsaw reasons. Who did know was Hoffman, who on the eve of Saw III (and IV) blackmailed Amanda with a letter threatening to expose her to Kramer. Desirous of Amanda’s death, Hoffman told her to kill Doc Denlon, snowballing in her own death (and Kramer’s). This makes a complete mush of the original reading on Saw III (and IV), but that’s par for the course with the “second trilogy.”

But it seems Kramer did know of Hoffman’s sneakiness, and let it pass for whatever the hell reason. Rather, Kramer made arrangements with his astoundingly competent probate lawyer to send Jill her box – the sixth envelope within detailing Hoffman’s punishment, only the five others having to do with William. That he found time to do this while orchestrating Saws III and IV at once is impressive.

So the central twist is that Jill acts on Kramer’s behalf to “test” Hoffman. This involves hooking him up to Amanda’s “reverse bear trap” helmet from Saw I – so that’s why the box was so big! Jill leaves Hoffman to perish, declaring “Game over…”

Only Hoffman escapes from his trap, the writers having now decided the “reverse bear trap” inadequate. He smashes it against a window, rips his jaw just a tad, and howls for retribution. Man, aren’t we fortunate the assured sequel can resolve this!

Saw VI is easily the best entry in the latter triad of films, mostly in the way that it makes up for their creative dead ends. It feels as though the story was planned in advance, that Saws IV and V were fashioned as knowing set-ups for Saw VI to capitalize on. If that is the case, it increases my distaste for those interim entries, because then they knowingly under -delivered. If that’s not the case, then Saw VI represents an astounding growing curve in the Saw-smiths’ understanding of their own franchise. If nothing else, it is a temporary salve to fans still following these films.

The fact evident since Saw IV remains, however, that Saw is merely biding its time while diminishing in overall importance to cinema, or even just the horror genre. It has mostly outlived the torture pornography cycle, and has even seen never cycles of horror rise up to counter it. Sure, Saw was no longer the Halloween box office champ (High School Musical 3 easily bested Saw V), but Saw VI lost out to a fellow horror film – Paranormal Activity. Perhaps this was a passing of the torch, indicating a new, understated direction for horror. Or perhaps it was a mere fluke. Whatever the answer, the duel is now in round two, as Saw 3D and Paranormal Activity 2 are battling each other out for October horror supremacy. As of writing, it appears Saw 3D is the champ in its first weekend, but in such a way that bores me and offers little to comment on. 3D release, promise of finality, whatever, I’m off now to go see this beast for myself now.


Related posts:
• No. 1 Saw (2004)
• No. 2 Saw II (2005)
• No. 3 Saw III (2006)
• No. 4 Saw IV (2007)
• No. 5 Saw V (2008)
• No. 7 Saw 3D (2010)

Saw, No. 6 - Saw VI (2009)

Seeing as there was an October in 2009, there was a Saw. But this wasn’t just any old Saw, with the diminishing returns of Saws IV and V. No, with Saw VI we learned that the second Saw era, the era connected with the retreat of writers James Wan and Leigh Whannell and the ascent of writers Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan, was in fact the “second trilogy.” And Saw VI would be the capper! This is a good thing, too, because Saw VI serves to answer all the damned lazy story threads that were left intentionally dangling. Hell, in a way Saws IV through VI almost work – but only as a single unit, taken as a whole. They surely don’t work individually. This sort of storytelling has a place, in shorter serialized media such as TV shows (dangling threads in “Lost” aren’t nearly so problematic). I cannot imagine how aggravating the years of 2007 – 2009 must’ve been for Saw fans. Hell, the three days I’ve devoted to them were frustrating enough!

What makes Saw VI an improvement is not only its conclusive ending (never mind Saw 3D for a moment), but the sense you feel while travelling there that this all means something. Credit there must go to first time director Kevin Greutert, former Saw editor – at last my pain has a name! He is a mighty step above Saw V’s David Hackl, bringing far momentum to the proceedings than a Part Six deserves.


What’s the opening trap? Let’s just get it out of the way now, for these things are always mostly disposable. Two predatory bank lenders are forced to race each other. The one who can sever the post body parts in one minute wins. The other gets a screw to the brain, which sounds like a cocktail. The one not pictured cleaves her arm off; she wins.

Now we can get down to business concerning the sole surviving Jigsaw protégé, Detective Mark Hoffman (Costas Mandylor), someone no one is really interested in. And after wasting two films getting Hoffman in this enviable position, the writers have now heard the complaints, and go about resolving it. For one, the retroactive influence of John “Jigsaw” Kramer (Tobin Bell, still top-billed) is more pertinent, even though it’s is danged annoying that this is his fourth “final game.” Furthermore, there’s another twist, thrown out early on and thus not warranting the huge SPOILER tag: Kramer had a third accomplice!

“Now wait,” someone presumably says, “doesn’t this crap get lamer with each additional assistant?” Well, they’ve righted that issue, actually. The assistant in question is Kramer’s ex-wife, Jill Tuck (Betsy Russell). Well…sort of. Flashbacks later reveal she was well familiar with her ex-husbands human-killing ways (bless this amoral franchise). She even received a box from Kramer in probate during Saw V – which was such a throwaway bit of sequel seeding I didn’t even mention Jill for that entry. But we’ll see how that plays out here…later.


One of the other significant improvements Saw VI makes over its immediate predecessors is to make its victim pool matter…slightly. That means we get to meet the gore-sacks ahead of schedule, and even see them doing something other than having marital woes! Overseeing Umbrella Health – what is this, Resident Evil?! – is William Easton (Peter Outerbridge), health insurance bigwig and serial policy denier. Buried here is information – a lot like Kramer’s intro in the original Saw – that’ll be important later: William has just denied coverage to a sick man, Harold Abbot, for weakly trumped-up reasons. But let’s ignore that until the twists, because there is an elephant in my room – AAAAH!

Saw VI is topical! Who’d a-thunk a torture pornography (torno) sequel would take a side in the health care debate (and predatory lending) – and almost certainly make a more cogent argument than Michael Moore. Of course, it’s just slightly hypocritical to argue the sanctity of human life when your body count’s in the double digits, so Saw VI’ll never be the poster child for anti-death panelists, but still… Satire is a frequent purpose of horror, so it’s bracing to see the torno subgenre attempt this approach. And given Jigsaw’s intended metaphors-by-way-of-mutilation, it’s almost the trick Saw was made for! I can’t say this is wholly successful, because I don’t want to engage a political issue (too busy dissecting horror flicks), but it’s a way, in your fifth sequel, to get the attention of people who wouldn’t otherwise give a pound of flesh.

Deflecting any criticism about the health care thing, Saw VI has picked up a (dark) sense of humor about all the contradictions in Jigsaw’s worldview.

The dilemma William & Co. find themselves in is thrown together by Hoffman in response to the tape found during Kramer’s autopsy – sure it opened Saw IV, but it takes place NOW (way to leave plot strands wasted for two films!). Indeed, Hoffman’s being forced into this. That unresolved blackmailing from Saw V, it’s being enacted now. Because that unopened box from Saw V, it had 6 envelopes in it, listing the key players in William’s game, and Jill is forcing Hoffman’s involvement. Which does Hoffman no favors, since FBI agent Dan Erickson (Mark Rolston) is closing in on Hoffman’s guilt.

Also, Agent Perez is still alive, this being the last straw to render Saw V completely worthless. Why was this done? Basically, so there’s someone else to kill this time. And presumably resurrect again for Saw 3D, because nothing ever “takes.”

This write-up’s kind of skipping around with nary any direction, but it IS a Saw review.


Okay, enough dilly-dallying, William awakes in Jigsaw-like circumstances. And the Jigsaw video – which is actually Kramer, no silly puppets or anything – announces four tests to examine the limits of William’s health care policies. And the first is up – now!

Across from William is his janitor, Janitor (yeah, don’t name ‘im or anything). And the test: first one to breathe a whole lot dies. Janitor is a smoker, so he’ll lose. Good thing too, really, because otherwise this whole scenario sort of dies in its infancy. And then William will never be able to “see his family again.” (There’s some more rules, like a 60 minute timer and proximity hand-lacerators, which I’ll mostly neglect.)

As Kramer mentions William’s family, we meet two more characters – a mother and teenaged son, bound in a zoo cell. (This movie takes place in an abandoned zoo – what’s this city’s problem?!) I cannot find any two actors listed with William’s last name (or any repeated last name), so for now I’m not sure who these people are. That’s an important detail. Also, there is a big vat of acid in the cell, whose function is currently unclear.

Meanwhile, in the cougar cage next door to them is…a cougar. It’s Pamela Jenkins (Samantha Lemole) really, the sensationalizing journalist with a tell-all book on the Jigsaw Killer – it’s this franchise’s Gale Weathers. For good measure, we get to see her kidnapping in flashback – a well-distinguished flashback, one of director Greutert’s greatest contributions.


William’s second test is in the reptile room. William is given a quandary. Who would you save, if you could only save one, a perfectly healthy young guy with no family, or a sick old lady with many loved ones? The other one will be hanged with barbed wire. But don’t worry, Saw is fictional.

(Also remember back in the day – Part One – when all Jigsaw’s victims were ostensibly capable of rescuing themselves? We lost that conceit long ago, but nothing plays up that change more than Saw VI’s endless progression of forced dead innocents.)


As one reaches halfway through a Saw movie, the flashbacks become thick and heavy. There are two flashback strands in Saw VI. Thankfully, both heavily feature Kramer.

In one strand, a pre-Jigsaw Kramer repeatedly visits with William, seeking his OK for an experimental cancer treatment. This is the writers’ chance to get all topical about Obama Care, and Bell’s acting skill saves it from the doldrums of soapboxing. Notably, Kramer claims there is one facet William has neglected in his insurance formula: will to live.

In the other strand, franchise mythology and back story are reworked yet again, with Amanda, Hoffman and Jill all squeezed into the prelims to Saw III. That Amanda knew all about this stuff opens up a great plot hole re: that film’s ending, which they’ll actually resolve in Saw VI’s twist. Jill is prepped with a key for “when the time’s right” – that time also being Saw VI. And Hoffman asks about how many ridiculous posthumous schemes Kramer has in mind. “How many next times are there gonna be?” Quoth Kramer, “However many there needs to be.” HA! The Saw sequels just became self aware!


There will be far more flashbacks inserted to twist series continuity far worse than Timothy Young (Saw III reference – why do I know that?!). For now, it’s time for William’s next inconsequential task. His secretary Debbie has the traditional one minute to navigate an obstacle course riddled with hot steam, with William offering aid by redirecting steam directly into his foolish mug (could’ve ducked away, but we’d’ve missed out on a character’s pain). But that’s just a precursor to the real game, where Debbie learns the key to free her head harness (what, you didn’t guess a Saw victim would be in a head harness?) is in William’s gut. William refuses to unsew his recent stitches, so Debbie attacks him with a circular saw. Boy, isn’t Williams (and Jigsaw) lucky her harness kills her before she could kill him?

A brief intermission so Erickson can close in on Hoffman’s vocal signature on his Jigsaw tapes, then it’s right back to –


– Williams, wandering in on his final test. His six top analysts await, lashed to a merry-go-round, spinning before an automatic shotgun. It is up to William to decide which two will live. William makes his choice, and four people die. Sorry, guys, your boss once pissed off a nascent serial killer. I’d really love to see an ethicist make a serious consideration of these films.

Okay, now Erickson’s investigation can come to fruition. The taped voice unscrambles for Erickson, Perez, Hoffman, and a random lab tech. At last it proves to be the flat, anonymous, presumably unmistakable tones of Costas Mandylor, so…

You know what, we’re only a couple of minutes out from four wanton deaths. Obviously it’s time for three more, right? Okay, so Hoffman slashes Erickson’s throat, uses the nameless and doomed lab tech as a human shield (Perez shoots her), then simply stabs Perez a whole lot. And to ensure this act doesn’t come back to haunt him (yeah right!), Hoffman slathers the crime scene with the dead Agent Strahm’s fingerprints – because Hoffman keeps Strahm’s severed hand in his car trunk, right next to the spare tire. Also, Hoffman burns down the lab.

There is a freakish amount of collateral in Saw VI. I didn’t even mention the poor security guard William shot dead before he was kidnapped. They’re showing off, after the mostly corpseless Saw V.

With all the dead wood now cut, stabbed, shot or burned away, we can enter End Game.

SPOILER!

SPOILER!

SPOILER!

Old “Two Twist” Jigsaw strikes again. The first twist is less obvious but also less important. It occurs as William reaches the cell where his “family” awaits. And it turns out his family’s not the mother and son I’ve yet to hear names for. It’s Pamela, the journalist next door. Hmm, her extra characteristics, and pre-kidnapping character scenes, were effective red herrings. Tara and Brent, meanwhile (for those are their names), are Harold Abbot’s family – you know, that guy who died when William denied him coverage. A video now exposits that it’s up to them to decide if William should die – provided William obliges by standing in precisely the right spot. Tara is unwilling to commit blatant murder, so her son does it instead – there’s a switch in their cell. We’re not supposed to mull the morality of Brett’s decision, because we’d rather marvel as William impales on a grate of sorts, and is injected full of acid. At last, they came up with something that can rival Saw III’s impromptu brain surgery for sticky-icky!


Twist # 2 is actually compounded of many revelations. Let’s take this chronologically…

It turns out Amanda is the one responsible for killing Uncle Ben, causing Peter Parker to become Spider-Man – wait, I mean, she killed Kramer’s son. That is, she drove junky extraordinaire Cecil (see IV) to Jill’s clinic, resulting in her franchise-spawning miscarriage.

Kramer did not know this, apparently, as he rather targeted Amanda later for unrelated Jigsaw reasons. Who did know was Hoffman, who on the eve of Saw III (and IV) blackmailed Amanda with a letter threatening to expose her to Kramer. Desirous of Amanda’s death, Hoffman told her to kill Doc Denlon, snowballing in her own death (and Kramer’s). This makes a complete mush of the original reading on Saw III (and IV), but that’s par for the course with the “second trilogy.”

But it seems Kramer did know of Hoffman’s sneakiness, and let it pass for whatever the hell reason. Rather, Kramer made arrangements with his astoundingly competent probate lawyer to send Jill her box – the sixth envelope within detailing Hoffman’s punishment, only the five others having to do with William. That he found time to do this while orchestrating Saws III and IV at once is impressive.

So the central twist is that Jill acts on Kramer’s behalf to “test” Hoffman. This involves hooking him up to Amanda’s “reverse bear trap” helmet from Saw I – so that’s why the box was so big! Jill leaves Hoffman to perish, declaring “Game over…”

Only Hoffman escapes from his trap, the writers having now decided the “reverse bear trap” inadequate. He smashes it against a window, rips his jaw just a tad, and howls for retribution. Man, aren’t we fortunate the assured sequel can resolve this!

Saw VI is easily the best entry in the latter triad of films, mostly in the way that it makes up for their creative dead ends. It feels as though the story was planned in advance, that Saws IV and V were fashioned as knowing set-ups for Saw VI to capitalize on. If that is the case, it increases my distaste for those interim entries, because then they knowingly under -delivered. If that’s not the case, then Saw VI represents an astounding growing curve in the Saw-smiths’ understanding of their own franchise. If nothing else, it is a temporary salve to fans still following these films.

The fact evident since Saw IV remains, however, that Saw is merely biding its time while diminishing in overall importance to cinema, or even just the horror genre. It has mostly outlived the torture pornography cycle, and has even seen never cycles of horror rise up to counter it. Sure, Saw was no longer the Halloween box office champ (High School Musical 3 easily bested Saw V), but Saw VI lost out to a fellow horror film – Paranormal Activity. Perhaps this was a passing of the torch, indicating a new, understated direction for horror. Or perhaps it was a mere fluke. Whatever the answer, the duel is now in round two, as Saw 3D and Paranormal Activity 2 are battling each other out for October horror supremacy. As of writing, it appears Saw 3D is the champ in its first weekend, but in such a way that bores me and offers little to comment on. 3D release, promise of finality, whatever, I’m off now to go see this beast for myself now.


Related posts:
• No. 1 Saw (2004)
• No. 2 Saw II (2005)
• No. 3 Saw III (2006)
• No. 4 Saw IV (2007)
• No. 5 Saw V (2008)
• No. 7 Saw 3D (2010)

Saw, No. 5 - Saw V (2008)

Let’s reassess the wreckage. Saw IV was a stalling effort, in light of every killer (and practically all other characters) dying off in Saw III. In such a purgatorial state, Saw IV could only hope to muddy the narrative waters with confusion and leaps of faith – such is the challenge of creating a new killer once the real Jigsaw (aka John Kramer) is deceased. But its deed was done, and Saw V has a clearly-identified (though thoroughly uninteresting) apprentice. Let’s not bother questioning how much this development undermines former entries and ruins the scant emotional resonance. Any sequel following the first “trilogy” was going to do that. At least now sequel perpetuity is assured – somewhat – and the series can technically continue, with or without its central iconic figure.

Having lost stalwart Saw-smith Darren Lynn Bousman, Saw V is directed instead by series production designer David Hackl (I nearly forgot to type in that “l”). Perhaps this shakeup can explain how listless and uninvolving Saw V is. Or maybe that’s the fault of second-time Saw writers Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan. After all, IV was elevated by Bousman’s increasingly good directorial skills, which could undercut the (vast, vast) plot issues. That is no longer the case here, resulting in the most flavorless Saw possible – and with Jigsaw making but a cameo flashback appearance, it sinks to the level of the bland torture pornography our generation so laments. Indeed, Saw V is nothing more than the new millennium Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (itself an icon-free fifth installment).


As always, the traditional opening torture (itself equivalent to the opening double murder of so many a slasher) augurs for the film to come. It sums up the full degree of creativity, nihilism and goo. So what do they do here? Rip off Edgar Allen Poe, in turn revealing him to be the first torture pornographer – thanks a lot, Saw guys. It’s Jigsaw Junior meets “The Pit and the Pendulum,” as this Seth guy faces a slowly-descending blade, like an obstacle out of a “Castlevania” game. He must sever his hands to escape. This he does. He is not released. The blade bisects Seth. We get both mutilations for the price of one!

With that ceremonial nonsense out of the way, it’s down to business. With the ending to III and IV combined, we open with the latest adventures of FBI agent Peter Strahm (Scott Patterson). Don’t worry extensively about past complications, because Saw V rather over-corrects for Saw IV’s convolution by being almost too straight forward. Anyway, for now Strahm is sealed off in Kramer’s (Tobin Bell) sick room from III, with Kramer still alive enough to issue a single warning (all this occurs before the opening scene of IV, making Saw as difficult to parse as Primer). Strahm ignores Kramer’s advice to stay put, and instead wanders through a secret hatchway they’ve suddenly retconned into existence. For this reason, he is captured by Kramer’s assistant.


When Strahm awakes with his head sealed in a glass cube slowly filling with water, we resign ourselves to another “Detective Kerry situation,” as Saw detoxes itself of its former leads. Strahm, however, proves one of the few Jigsaw victims with the wherewithal to pass his “test.” Strahm performs an ad hoc tracheotomy with his pocket pen, rending his throat and medical logic simultaneously. At least this keeps him breathing long enough for a rescue.

Safely outside Gideon’s meatpacking plant, where innumerable entries took place, fellow survivor Mark Hoffman (Costas Mandylor) is the hero of the hour, as he carries out Jeff’s daughter Corbett – resolving a dangling plot thread from all the way back in III. Hoffman is shocked that Strahm too has made it, for it was Hoffman who tried doing Strahm in. Yes, Hoffman, in all his boring, inexpressive glory, is Jigsaw’s unknown assistant, and the means for series perpetuation. But before Hoffman can really set off on his own, he has another film-long holding pattern to wade through, for something will have to be done about Strahm’s suspicions (seeing as Strahm is the only guy to question the multitudinous coincidences surrounding Hoffman’s survival and child-finding).

The police investigations have often been the least interesting bit about this franchise, ever since the first Saw. It’s “CSI” for gorehounds – more so, I mean. Really, it was all an unnecessary distraction from the intriguing restroom scenario as Saw’s rancid core. But now we’re gifted an entire plot about Strahm’s investigation into Hoffman, a man whom he strongly suspects, and who is the killer. For the First Act, though, we’re in a holding pattern. Strahm’s first bit of evidence, beyond sheer common sense, are Agent Perez’s dying words. That’s right, Perez is declared dead now, one movie after the Billy puppet exploded in her face like a common teenager. And her final words: “Detective Hoffman.” Lordie know how she worked this out, and why it helps Strahm, but whatever. It technically bumps up the body count (but for which film?).

Remember back in the day when Saw was the drawing room drama of the horror genre? You know, one room, a few victims? As much as the Saw-smiths would love to just focus on detectives Strahm and Hoffman, with their almost interchangeable faces (distinguishable only by tracheotomy wound, which of course isn’t there in the flashbacks), the fans demand a little torture in their torture pornography. And for our prayers we are answered. Sadly, this is the most inconsequential “dungeon plot” so far, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the central Hoffman plot…except to give the cops a little evidence towards the end. Oh well.

It’s also the first time a Saw predicament seems totally unoriginal, basically just doing a variation on the Saw II house scenario, with the ticking time bomb of sarin gas replaced with literal ticking time bombs. And everything a bit more low key – Low key, in a sequel?!


Awaking here in Sewer Room One are five “advantaged” people, all given to petty squabbling, selfishness and egocentrism. They’re unlikeable turds, even amongst Saw victims. That’s sayin’ something! Really, it’s Saw as reality TV competition, “Big Brother” taken to its logical extreme, with a little “Apprentice” thrown in for “characterization.” Well, let’s meet our ciphers.

Brit Steddison (Julie Benz) – A brunette…in a business suit.
Luba Gibbs (Meagan Good) – The token minority…in a business suit.
Charles Saumn (Carlo Rota) – He looks like Jeff Bridges in Iron Man…in a business suit.
Mallick Scott (Greg Bryk) – Just a bland white guy…not in a business suit.
Ashley Kazon (Laura Gordon) – A blonde…in a business suit.

The only other personality they’re given is where they lie on the sliding (originally wrote “slicing”) scale of assholism. Naturally, there is a connecting mystery uniting the jerks, though these connections have never mattered before. It sucks that the solution to this enigma is one of our big twist endings.

Oh right, the situation! These five ostensibly human future gore-effects are all lashed to wires, which are due to drag them into decapitation blades – if anyone moves forward. But someone must move forward to retrieve his key from a glass box. They’re supposed to work together, though it’s unclear precisely how (for Jigsaw, whomever he now is, arcane hints are more important than actual survivalism). Anyway, here’s the outcome – four people escape, and Ashley’s head comes off.

Back in Strahm’s story: Strahm, in opposition to the orders of his superior Dan Erickson (Mark Rolston), has begun investigating Hoffman’s background – and stolen all the Jigsaw victim files, making himself look nutty. Here we learn – flashback! – that Hoffman has a connection with that Seth fellow the opening scene disemboweled. Because Seth murdered Hoffman’s sister – that was before the disemboweling, of course, and thus a further flashback. So, two flashbacks in, we get a flashforward (or flash-in-between) to Hoffman alone setting up Seth’s Poe homage. Yes, Hoffman was then a mere Jigsaw copycat, a Jigsaux.

Sewer Room Two – The four survivors must find three keys to three separate capsules, all before a nail bomb goes off – which would beset them with both nine-inch nails and Nine Inch Nails, considering the soundtrack. The dumbass conclusion they come to is that obviously one person was supposed to die before (when, really, any number could’ve been beheaded), and therefore one person must die in here. Thus no one realizes how gigantic these capsules are, able to hold several. Charles is the one to explode, since Luba smacks him around a little. Yeah, these people are already turning on each other – it’s reality TV!

Let’s now get to the true severed meat of Saw V, which has nothing to do with the current tale of Hoffman and Strahm, and even less to do with the sewer escapades. Rather, it is perhaps the series’ mightiest flashback of all, going on to explain the why and wherefore of Hoffman’s involvement with Kramer in the sort of detail I wish they’d allotted to Kramer’s recruitment of Amanda. But that’s beside the point. Here are future bestest buds, mere moments before Kramer forcibly captures Hoffman:


When Hoffman awakes, he is in Kramer’s lair under accusation of plagiarism. Indeed, Hoffman’s efforts are called “inferior work,” a perfect assessment of the post-III films as well. There is a non-starter of a non-death trap involving Hoffman and a shotgun, but the gist is Kramer’s recruiting spiel. Basically, Kramer’s tortures, meant to rehabilitate the criminal element, come with the 100% Jigsaw Satisfaction Guarantee – it’s a rephrasing, and reinterpretation, of Kramer’s motives in light of Hoffman’s status as a police officer and vigilante. It makes a hash of former entries, but what else is new? And to be sure, Kramer blackmails Hoffman with proof concerning Seth’s death – due to be released upon Kramer’s death, to ensure Hoffman doesn’t simply kill Kramer now and, you know, prevent many dozens of murders to come. (That nothing got released – yet – after Kramer’s death is either a plot hole to be patched later, or this was simply a bluff. I’m going with plot hole.)

The extended flashbacks continue, with brief visits paid to Strahm and the sewer set just to remind us there’s a story buried in here someplace. Most of these flashbacks serve little purpose, except to insert Hoffman into recreations of the set pieces from I and II – whichever ones we didn’t see Amanda work on in previous retcons, naturally. And if there were any outstanding plot holes surrounding that razor wire maze we saw for 1 minute in Part One, they’re resolved now. Way to prioritize, Saw V!


There is some further attempt to use these flashbacks as narrative spackle, to at least address an issue that’s long bugged me about the Saws – namely, isn’t is convenient Kramer’s subjects do precisely as he wishes at all times (see Saw IV for the worst example of this). Well, while setting up that gun trap from II Hoffman asks Kramer roughly this. Kramer ensures him he never takes chances, that all is assured. Well…that…surely dismisses the whole issue. It surely doesn’t answer the problem!

(At least Hoffman’s access-Saw-ry explains how Kramer successfully played the police forces like a Hitchcock audience.)

Over in Sewer Room Three – which we’re so anxious to get to – the three remaining nonentities have a door to open. This can only be done by connecting five electrical cords into a central bathtub – only they cannot reach it. In a use of electricity I am dubious about, the human body must be used to ground tub to wire. (The ideal scenario is with all five alive, each receiving a mild shock. As it is, though, the electricity shall kill a person.) An expected argument is resolved with literal backstabbing, as Brit murders Luba in order to use her body – and Brit is supposed to be our hero! Anyway, they’re through – Brit and Mallick, at least.


A few more Hoffman-related flashbacks grout in the cracks remaining in III and IV – at least, how they relate to Hoffman. This gets us up to date, and explains that this latest game is also Kramer’s design. Meaning even now, Hoffman is merely acting out Kramer’s desires – this is another stall technique that’ll surely be closed off by Saw VI, like the one-shot chronological craziness of Saw IV.

Also, Erickson is actively tracing Strahm now. This will eventually lead Erickson to Hoffman’s Jigsaw lair – we’re all anticipating a certain twist ending from this. It’s so obvious, actually, that the seasoned viewer immediately dismisses it. However…

SPOILER!

SPOILER!

SPOILER!

You’re right on the money! The twist in Saw V is that the twist sucks. It’s all been about Hoffman setting up Strahm to appear as Jigsaw’s apprentice, allowing Hoffman the freedom to glide through further sequels unheeded. But I’m jumping the gun a little here.


Sewer Room Four: The final room, with a device in the middle meant to slice up the arm and take its blood – the intent is that 10 pints of blood will open the final door. The problem: Jigsaw’s word says that amount would be fatal – for one person. So either Mallick and Brit work together, each get sliced just somewhat, or someone gets rewarded once again for being a great big murderer. And in actually debating their situation, Mallick happens upon something greatly impertinent:

The second big twist! (Yes, there’s always two.) This “twist” is the victims’ connection. And it is – [drum roll please] – they were all involved in a shady real estate deal, which climaxed in a building burning down with eight transients inside.

…

THAT’S IT?!

For what it’s worth, this is enough to make Mallick feel guilty. And while both jerks give some blood – side note, this coincides with the real world Saw blood drives, which answer for fictional depravity by saving real world lives – Mallick gives well in excess of Brit. In fact, he bisects his arm right down to the elbow! The door opens, Erickson saves them (maybe…sequels like to bump off the grievously wounded), and that’s the end of that.

But what of Strahm? Yes, inquiring minds must know! Well, he’s followed some “whatever” clues into a new lair – in the tunnels underneath II’s cozily remodeled gas house. A tape explains he must leap into a glass-ridden box to survive. Strahm balks (naturally, no one takes Jigsaw at his word as they ought), and instead seals Hoffman in the box. So Hoffman survives to carry on Jigsaw’s good work, while Strahm shall simply vanish – by death. The box descends into a pit, while the walls close in on Strahm. This particular death trap has existed since at least the silent era, but at least this time we get to see the bone-crunching results.


And Saw V ends without anyone even getting to say “Game over.” Whuh?!

This film saw Saw becoming, in the U.S., the highest-grossing horror series of all time, over A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Halloween, etc. Of course, do note inflation. This bit of trivia ignores a few things: Saw V is the lowest-grossing in the series, and Friday the 13th has since surpassed Saw due to its remake. (Look to see Saw 3D tip that rusty scale back to Saw’s filthy court.)

And with that, Saw is officially a member of the horror icon brigade. The sad fact of all long-running franchises (especially horror franchises) is that quality must assuredly leave. And I mean quality even by the rather specific guidelines formula horror sets for itself. With most of these franchises, when let run long enough, one can see an eventual turn back towards quality, as problems are identified and tone modified. This may be harder for Saw to do than most, for it still suffers from its loss of John Kramer, even while Tobin Bell remains the highest-billed. Hoffman is uninteresting, Costas Mandylor uncharismatic, and that situation unlikely to change.

I suggested at the end of Saw IV that Saw was now, post-Kramer, a zombie series, perpetuating only as long as the ratio of cost to earnings remained good. Saw V brings us closer to its death, but not close enough. Until then, Hoffman’s hijinks shall continue, and we’ll see if anything worthwhile can be made of him.


Related posts:
• No. 1 Saw (2004)
• No. 2 Saw II (2005)
• No. 3 Saw III (2006)
• No. 4 Saw IV (2007)
• No. 6 Saw VI (2009)
• No. 7 Saw 3D (2010)