Let’s reassess the wreckage. Saw IV was a stalling effort, in light of every killer (and practically all other characters) dying off in Saw III. In such a purgatorial state, Saw IV could only hope to muddy the narrative waters with confusion and leaps of faith – such is the challenge of creating a new killer once the real Jigsaw (aka John Kramer) is deceased. But its deed was done, and Saw V has a clearly-identified (though thoroughly uninteresting) apprentice. Let’s not bother questioning how much this development undermines former entries and ruins the scant emotional resonance. Any sequel following the first “trilogy” was going to do that. At least now sequel perpetuity is assured – somewhat – and the series can technically continue, with or without its central iconic figure.
Having lost stalwart Saw-smith Darren Lynn Bousman, Saw V is directed instead by series production designer David Hackl (I nearly forgot to type in that “l”). Perhaps this shakeup can explain how listless and uninvolving Saw V is. Or maybe that’s the fault of second-time Saw writers Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan. After all, IV was elevated by Bousman’s increasingly good directorial skills, which could undercut the (vast, vast) plot issues. That is no longer the case here, resulting in the most flavorless Saw possible – and with Jigsaw making but a cameo flashback appearance, it sinks to the level of the bland torture pornography our generation so laments. Indeed, Saw V is nothing more than the new millennium Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (itself an icon-free fifth installment).
As always, the traditional opening torture (itself equivalent to the opening double murder of so many a slasher) augurs for the film to come. It sums up the full degree of creativity, nihilism and goo. So what do they do here? Rip off Edgar Allen Poe, in turn revealing him to be the first torture pornographer – thanks a lot, Saw guys. It’s Jigsaw Junior meets “The Pit and the Pendulum,” as this Seth guy faces a slowly-descending blade, like an obstacle out of a “Castlevania” game. He must sever his hands to escape. This he does. He is not released. The blade bisects Seth. We get both mutilations for the price of one!
With that ceremonial nonsense out of the way, it’s down to business. With the ending to III and IV combined, we open with the latest adventures of FBI agent Peter Strahm (Scott Patterson). Don’t worry extensively about past complications, because Saw V rather over-corrects for Saw IV’s convolution by being almost too straight forward. Anyway, for now Strahm is sealed off in Kramer’s (Tobin Bell) sick room from III, with Kramer still alive enough to issue a single warning (all this occurs before the opening scene of IV, making Saw as difficult to parse as Primer). Strahm ignores Kramer’s advice to stay put, and instead wanders through a secret hatchway they’ve suddenly retconned into existence. For this reason, he is captured by Kramer’s assistant.
When Strahm awakes with his head sealed in a glass cube slowly filling with water, we resign ourselves to another “Detective Kerry situation,” as Saw detoxes itself of its former leads. Strahm, however, proves one of the few Jigsaw victims with the wherewithal to pass his “test.” Strahm performs an ad hoc tracheotomy with his pocket pen, rending his throat and medical logic simultaneously. At least this keeps him breathing long enough for a rescue.
Safely outside Gideon’s meatpacking plant, where innumerable entries took place, fellow survivor Mark Hoffman (Costas Mandylor) is the hero of the hour, as he carries out Jeff’s daughter Corbett – resolving a dangling plot thread from all the way back in III. Hoffman is shocked that Strahm too has made it, for it was Hoffman who tried doing Strahm in. Yes, Hoffman, in all his boring, inexpressive glory, is Jigsaw’s unknown assistant, and the means for series perpetuation. But before Hoffman can really set off on his own, he has another film-long holding pattern to wade through, for something will have to be done about Strahm’s suspicions (seeing as Strahm is the only guy to question the multitudinous coincidences surrounding Hoffman’s survival and child-finding).
The police investigations have often been the least interesting bit about this franchise, ever since the first Saw. It’s “CSI” for gorehounds – more so, I mean. Really, it was all an unnecessary distraction from the intriguing restroom scenario as Saw’s rancid core. But now we’re gifted an entire plot about Strahm’s investigation into Hoffman, a man whom he strongly suspects, and who is the killer. For the First Act, though, we’re in a holding pattern. Strahm’s first bit of evidence, beyond sheer common sense, are Agent Perez’s dying words. That’s right, Perez is declared dead now, one movie after the Billy puppet exploded in her face like a common teenager. And her final words: “Detective Hoffman.” Lordie know how she worked this out, and why it helps Strahm, but whatever. It technically bumps up the body count (but for which film?).
Remember back in the day when Saw was the drawing room drama of the horror genre? You know, one room, a few victims? As much as the Saw-smiths would love to just focus on detectives Strahm and Hoffman, with their almost interchangeable faces (distinguishable only by tracheotomy wound, which of course isn’t there in the flashbacks), the fans demand a little torture in their torture pornography. And for our prayers we are answered. Sadly, this is the most inconsequential “dungeon plot” so far, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the central Hoffman plot…except to give the cops a little evidence towards the end. Oh well.
It’s also the first time a Saw predicament seems totally unoriginal, basically just doing a variation on the Saw II house scenario, with the ticking time bomb of sarin gas replaced with literal ticking time bombs. And everything a bit more low key – Low key, in a sequel?!
Awaking here in Sewer Room One are five “advantaged” people, all given to petty squabbling, selfishness and egocentrism. They’re unlikeable turds, even amongst Saw victims. That’s sayin’ something! Really, it’s Saw as reality TV competition, “Big Brother” taken to its logical extreme, with a little “Apprentice” thrown in for “characterization.” Well, let’s meet our ciphers.
Brit Steddison (Julie Benz) – A brunette…in a business suit.
Luba Gibbs (Meagan Good) – The token minority…in a business suit.
Charles Saumn (Carlo Rota) – He looks like Jeff Bridges in Iron Man…in a business suit.
Mallick Scott (Greg Bryk) – Just a bland white guy…not in a business suit.
Ashley Kazon (Laura Gordon) – A blonde…in a business suit.
The only other personality they’re given is where they lie on the sliding (originally wrote “slicing”) scale of assholism. Naturally, there is a connecting mystery uniting the jerks, though these connections have never mattered before. It sucks that the solution to this enigma is one of our big twist endings.
Oh right, the situation! These five ostensibly human future gore-effects are all lashed to wires, which are due to drag them into decapitation blades – if anyone moves forward. But someone must move forward to retrieve his key from a glass box. They’re supposed to work together, though it’s unclear precisely how (for Jigsaw, whomever he now is, arcane hints are more important than actual survivalism). Anyway, here’s the outcome – four people escape, and Ashley’s head comes off.
Back in Strahm’s story: Strahm, in opposition to the orders of his superior Dan Erickson (Mark Rolston), has begun investigating Hoffman’s background – and stolen all the Jigsaw victim files, making himself look nutty. Here we learn – flashback! – that Hoffman has a connection with that Seth fellow the opening scene disemboweled. Because Seth murdered Hoffman’s sister – that was before the disemboweling, of course, and thus a further flashback. So, two flashbacks in, we get a flashforward (or flash-in-between) to Hoffman alone setting up Seth’s Poe homage. Yes, Hoffman was then a mere Jigsaw copycat, a Jigsaux.
Sewer Room Two – The four survivors must find three keys to three separate capsules, all before a nail bomb goes off – which would beset them with both nine-inch nails and Nine Inch Nails, considering the soundtrack. The dumbass conclusion they come to is that obviously one person was supposed to die before (when, really, any number could’ve been beheaded), and therefore one person must die in here. Thus no one realizes how gigantic these capsules are, able to hold several. Charles is the one to explode, since Luba smacks him around a little. Yeah, these people are already turning on each other – it’s reality TV!
Let’s now get to the true severed meat of Saw V, which has nothing to do with the current tale of Hoffman and Strahm, and even less to do with the sewer escapades. Rather, it is perhaps the series’ mightiest flashback of all, going on to explain the why and wherefore of Hoffman’s involvement with Kramer in the sort of detail I wish they’d allotted to Kramer’s recruitment of Amanda. But that’s beside the point. Here are future bestest buds, mere moments before Kramer forcibly captures Hoffman:
When Hoffman awakes, he is in Kramer’s lair under accusation of plagiarism. Indeed, Hoffman’s efforts are called “inferior work,” a perfect assessment of the post-III films as well. There is a non-starter of a non-death trap involving Hoffman and a shotgun, but the gist is Kramer’s recruiting spiel. Basically, Kramer’s tortures, meant to rehabilitate the criminal element, come with the 100% Jigsaw Satisfaction Guarantee – it’s a rephrasing, and reinterpretation, of Kramer’s motives in light of Hoffman’s status as a police officer and vigilante. It makes a hash of former entries, but what else is new? And to be sure, Kramer blackmails Hoffman with proof concerning Seth’s death – due to be released upon Kramer’s death, to ensure Hoffman doesn’t simply kill Kramer now and, you know, prevent many dozens of murders to come. (That nothing got released – yet – after Kramer’s death is either a plot hole to be patched later, or this was simply a bluff. I’m going with plot hole.)
The extended flashbacks continue, with brief visits paid to Strahm and the sewer set just to remind us there’s a story buried in here someplace. Most of these flashbacks serve little purpose, except to insert Hoffman into recreations of the set pieces from I and II – whichever ones we didn’t see Amanda work on in previous retcons, naturally. And if there were any outstanding plot holes surrounding that razor wire maze we saw for 1 minute in Part One, they’re resolved now. Way to prioritize, Saw V!
There is some further attempt to use these flashbacks as narrative spackle, to at least address an issue that’s long bugged me about the Saws – namely, isn’t is convenient Kramer’s subjects do precisely as he wishes at all times (see Saw IV for the worst example of this). Well, while setting up that gun trap from II Hoffman asks Kramer roughly this. Kramer ensures him he never takes chances, that all is assured. Well…that…surely dismisses the whole issue. It surely doesn’t answer the problem!
(At least Hoffman’s access-Saw-ry explains how Kramer successfully played the police forces like a Hitchcock audience.)
Over in Sewer Room Three – which we’re so anxious to get to – the three remaining nonentities have a door to open. This can only be done by connecting five electrical cords into a central bathtub – only they cannot reach it. In a use of electricity I am dubious about, the human body must be used to ground tub to wire. (The ideal scenario is with all five alive, each receiving a mild shock. As it is, though, the electricity shall kill a person.) An expected argument is resolved with literal backstabbing, as Brit murders Luba in order to use her body – and Brit is supposed to be our hero! Anyway, they’re through – Brit and Mallick, at least.
A few more Hoffman-related flashbacks grout in the cracks remaining in III and IV – at least, how they relate to Hoffman. This gets us up to date, and explains that this latest game is also Kramer’s design. Meaning even now, Hoffman is merely acting out Kramer’s desires – this is another stall technique that’ll surely be closed off by Saw VI, like the one-shot chronological craziness of Saw IV.
Also, Erickson is actively tracing Strahm now. This will eventually lead Erickson to Hoffman’s Jigsaw lair – we’re all anticipating a certain twist ending from this. It’s so obvious, actually, that the seasoned viewer immediately dismisses it. However…
SPOILER!
SPOILER!
SPOILER!
You’re right on the money! The twist in Saw V is that the twist sucks. It’s all been about Hoffman setting up Strahm to appear as Jigsaw’s apprentice, allowing Hoffman the freedom to glide through further sequels unheeded. But I’m jumping the gun a little here.
Sewer Room Four: The final room, with a device in the middle meant to slice up the arm and take its blood – the intent is that 10 pints of blood will open the final door. The problem: Jigsaw’s word says that amount would be fatal – for one person. So either Mallick and Brit work together, each get sliced just somewhat, or someone gets rewarded once again for being a great big murderer. And in actually debating their situation, Mallick happens upon something greatly impertinent:
The second big twist! (Yes, there’s always two.) This “twist” is the victims’ connection. And it is – [drum roll please] – they were all involved in a shady real estate deal, which climaxed in a building burning down with eight transients inside.
…
THAT’S IT?!
For what it’s worth, this is enough to make Mallick feel guilty. And while both jerks give some blood – side note, this coincides with the real world Saw blood drives, which answer for fictional depravity by saving real world lives – Mallick gives well in excess of Brit. In fact, he bisects his arm right down to the elbow! The door opens, Erickson saves them (maybe…sequels like to bump off the grievously wounded), and that’s the end of that.
But what of Strahm? Yes, inquiring minds must know! Well, he’s followed some “whatever” clues into a new lair – in the tunnels underneath II’s cozily remodeled gas house. A tape explains he must leap into a glass-ridden box to survive. Strahm balks (naturally, no one takes Jigsaw at his word as they ought), and instead seals Hoffman in the box. So Hoffman survives to carry on Jigsaw’s good work, while Strahm shall simply vanish – by death. The box descends into a pit, while the walls close in on Strahm. This particular death trap has existed since at least the silent era, but at least this time we get to see the bone-crunching results.
And Saw V ends without anyone even getting to say “Game over.” Whuh?!
This film saw Saw becoming, in the U.S., the highest-grossing horror series of all time, over A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Halloween, etc. Of course, do note inflation. This bit of trivia ignores a few things: Saw V is the lowest-grossing in the series, and Friday the 13th has since surpassed Saw due to its remake. (Look to see Saw 3D tip that rusty scale back to Saw’s filthy court.)
And with that, Saw is officially a member of the horror icon brigade. The sad fact of all long-running franchises (especially horror franchises) is that quality must assuredly leave. And I mean quality even by the rather specific guidelines formula horror sets for itself. With most of these franchises, when let run long enough, one can see an eventual turn back towards quality, as problems are identified and tone modified. This may be harder for Saw to do than most, for it still suffers from its loss of John Kramer, even while Tobin Bell remains the highest-billed. Hoffman is uninteresting, Costas Mandylor uncharismatic, and that situation unlikely to change.
I suggested at the end of Saw IV that Saw was now, post-Kramer, a zombie series, perpetuating only as long as the ratio of cost to earnings remained good. Saw V brings us closer to its death, but not close enough. Until then, Hoffman’s hijinks shall continue, and we’ll see if anything worthwhile can be made of him.
Related posts:
• No. 1 Saw (2004)
• No. 2 Saw II (2005)
• No. 3 Saw III (2006)
• No. 4 Saw IV (2007)
• No. 6 Saw VI (2009)
• No. 7 Saw 3D (2010)
No comments:
Post a Comment